Luke's POV Warning: triggering I woke up and saw Ashton against the wall asleep and he looked like he had been crying all night. I frowned and shuffled out of bed and walked over to Ashton touching his shoulder "Ashton, wake up. You've been on the floor all night." He shuffled around in his sleep and I picked him up moving him to the bed where Connor was laying. I laid him next to Connor and walked away. I went back to my bunk grabbing my shirt and skinny jeans slipping them on. I fixed my hair into a quiff and then slipped my SnapBack on. I went and grabbed a juice from the fridge and started to drink it. Ashton and Connor were snuggled up onto the couch and I frowned because me and Ashton won't stop fighting. I thought to myself "what more does he want from me?" I snapped out of my thoughts when Connor said my name "Luke, what are you doing up so early? It's 8 am you don't have to be a the venue till 12." I sighed and shrugged "just thinking, I didn't even realize we were in Nashville." Connor nodded "we arrived at 1 AM. You were out cold." I nodded "can I talk to you?" Connor hummed and we sat down "I kinda like somebody whose taken and I wanna win his heart, but I can tell he's deeply in love with the boy he's with and I've broken his heart continuously." Connor looked at me and said " I wish I could but I can't. I'm lucky I even have Ashton like I do, I thought you were gonna take him away from me." He chuckled and I chuckled back nervously and got up. "Go get some more sleep Connor I'm sure your boyfriend needs you." He got up and went back to Ashton who was waiting for Connor. I watched him and smiled sadly at him and he looked away from me. "What have I done?" I thought to myself. Time skip
It was 11:30 and we had to be at the venue at 12, the rest of the boys were getting ready and I was on my phone texting Alexis for relationship advice. I chuckled to myself and thought "funny how I went to Ashton for relationship advice now he hates my guts while I'm deeply in love with him." I snapped out of my thoughts and Michael looked at me "Luke buddy, are you ready? Ashton and the rest of us are." I licked my lips and nodded. Michael and Calum walked off the bus hands intertwined while Connor and Ashton were in front of them holding hands smiling at each other, then there was me walking behind Michael and Calum trying not to cry. We arrived at the venue and was getting ready to go do sound check and practice for the shows. Connor and Ashton were in the back sucking each others faces off and I yelled at them "Jesus fucking Christ come on Ashton were waiting on you." Ashton looked at me and glared "I'm sorry, I didn't know it's wrong for me to be happy with somebody who loves me." My heart shattered into a million pieces and I walked away and walked onto the stage and grabbed my guitar putting it on. We first practiced vapor then she's kinda hot and continued practicing the set. We finally finished and I got off on stage, Michael walked over to me "hey we're gonna go get some food wanna come?" I shook my head no and Michael frowned and touched my shoulder and I flinched. "Michael please I don't wanna go, I don't mind being alone." Please don't do anything stupid." Michael said and i shrugged and muttered "what's it to you and walked out side to the bus. I climbed onto the bus and went to the bathroom and finally just broke the words Ashton said replayed in my head. I grabbed the box that was hidden Under the sink and slid my sleeve up, i cut my wrist once and said "Ashton's right nobody will ever love you." I cut my wrists again "this ones for being so worthless." I finally cut my wrists one more time and watched the blood pour out of my wrists. I heard the bus door open and Michael knocked on the bathroom "Luke, can you hurry up I gotta pee." I responded "just a moment." I cleaned my razor and put it away then I cleaned my cuts and wrapped them up and cleaned the blood off the sink, I rolled my sleeve down and made it look like nothing happened. "The bathrooms yours." I said to Michael and he walked in there with a concerned look on his face. I climbed into my bunk shifting be curtain and cuddled my penguin. I found a picture of me and Ashton together smiling and I was wearing a red bandana while Ashton was wearing his blue one.
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I tried holding back the tears at the memory and wiped my eyes, I heard Ashton's voice on the other side of the curtain "Luke can I talk to you?" I responded "go away." I locked my phone and acted like it was nothing and he opened my curtain "Luke, please I know what I said was wrong and I'm sorry." I shrugged "whatever." Go run back to Connor. "He's hanging out with Calum playing Fifa. Look Luke I like you but were Bestfriends it wouldn't work." I muttered "whatever." And Ashton left.
Time skip past the concert cause I really don't wanna go into description
After the concert we all went back to the bus. Connor and Ashton were hugging all over each other and I rolled my eyes. "I need to move on" I thought to myself. "Hey mike do you think you can help me find somebody?" He nodded "sure Hemmings. Maybe it's good you're moving on from Ashton. Your relationship with him is toxic anyway." I nodded and I knew Michael was right, maybe it's time for me to get over Ashton.
