Destiny

Heart

Come and take a walk on the wild side-

you like your girls insane.

Lana

***************************

I felt no different, yet nothing was the same. Nor will it ever be again. I knew this when Gabriel first kissed me, and I am sure of it now as I sit staring off into the Roman distance wishing for both death and clearer breathes. The thought of love so far gone, I doubt I am even a flicker of thought in his mind. I wanted his head to burn with images of me, to linger in every moment of my essence. Yet, wishing would get me nowhere. 

A week had turned into a month. Gabriel had not spoken the truth. I am not sure if he intentionally vocalized false information, or if by mistake he was held from his palace by obligation. Either circumstance does not deliver him back into my presence, therefore I try fervently to forget about the matter, and him. 

All this time, however has not gone to waste. I have garnered closer relationships to the inhabitants of the massive palace, as well as with the servants. Alexander has been a close companion of mine, almost like a silent shadow of light. I still had not cracked the mysteries of his past, yet with time, all things are revealed. My greatest endeavor in my own beliefs, has been my opening of a small orphanage for the children near the city that were without adequate parentage. I believed that it was my responsibility as queen to care for these children, a pseudo mother figure, the mother of the future. I hired thirty-seven tutors to instruct the children as well as fifteen maids to care for the little ones. In total there were sixty-four small faces that inhabited the newly made orphanage. I spent most of my days and time here to free my mind. The small children binding their souls to my heart. 

The construction of the orphanage received immense controversy. Half of Rome thought this a perfect institution for the people, the other half despised my position and thought such resources should be spent on more important matters, military. Such attention brought the attention of Gabriel's adviser Balbus. A man of average height but meek stature. For the entirety of my project Balbus urged me to halt my work until Gabriel had returned. I was not one that did very well at waiting on a man, nor is patience an avid virtue I attain. This fact did not please Balbus very much. Yet his opinion of me did not hold matter to me. 

"Your highnethh."A small girl of five summers lightly tugged at my dresses hem to get my attention. She had chestnut brown hair, a freckled nose kissed by the sun and almond shaped brown eyes. "Yes?"I replied leaning down to her height. At times I had to refrain from giving them sweet nicknames yet it was improper due to my position. These are the times I wish for simplicity of life the most. "Play with me?"She asked smiling with a cheeky grin. Heart melts. "Of course Cassia." I answered smiling down at her sweetly. For the entirety of the day I remained in the orphanage, my small piece of calm. 

"Your highness, General Gabriel has arrived to the palace." My maiden Decima whispered into my ear. I nodded and thanked her. My heart fluttered. Did he miss me? Would every thing be the same. How would he look at me? I stood up from my plush chair that oversaw the small playing of the children. "I must bid farewell children." I announced retreating from the room. "Goodbye your highness!!" they vocalized as I exited the door.