Destiny

Betrayal

Can you hear my call,

are you coming to get me out,

I've been waiting for you to come rescue me,

I need you to hold-all of the sadness I can not

living inside of me -

Sia

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Bitterness was all I felt. I knew it in my hands, I saw it in my bones, I heard in the air. I never took criticism very well, especially not from peasants. 

I walked down the palace corridor thinking deeply about my next steps to solidify my position as queen. I would have to do it on my own. Gabriel could not be bothered to acknowledge if he were not in between my legs. He was so frustrating. All of this was so frustrating. I heard soft whispers and giggles. The servant girls. I wished that maybe I could be carefree and giggle with a close friend about deep secrets. Yet, I never could, at least not in this life. As I turned the corner the girls snapped quietly too quickly. Almost as if there was something I specifically was not supposed to hear. Just as I was pondering what secret that might be Alexiye and Brenae came rushing down the long hallway. "Come with us your highness, there is an urgent matter that must be discussed."Alexiye said bowing very quickly and ushering me into an average sized room. Alexiye closed the door and turned to me. Brenae shifted her eyes from me to the floor, to Alexiye and then to me again. "What is it?"I questioned slowly watching the both with anxiousness. "There is a woman who has arrived at the palace claiming to be pregnant with Gabriel's son."Alexiye stated solemnly turning to look at the wall in disgust. My heart dropped. I was stunned. "My brother, ---my brother can be a foolish man,---but i'm sure he meant you no harm Alaethiya."Brenae soothed rushing to my side to sit me down on the plush seat. My face grew hot with tears."What has Gabriel said about this?"I asked turning my head to the sky to keep the burning tears inside my skull. "He has announced a festival to be held to celebrate the arrival of his heir tonight."Alexiye stated in anger. I could tell in her eyes she was livid. So was I. "What will you do Alaethiya?"Brenae asked sadly holding my hand. "I will do what I must." I stated rising from my seat.

I sat in the velvet chair staring at my reflection in the velvet mirror. Gabriel had bedded another woman while he was away. My husband, had betrayed me. It would destroy my position as queen if the baby in that woman's womb is a boy. The heir. All the sacrifices I had made, all my country's people, let down. All I felt was shame and hatred. Sadness lingered in the surrounding air. 

The chamber door opened. It was Gabriel. I knew it without having to turn and look at him. I felt like throwing up. "Things have become complicated."Gabriel stated hoarsely. I turned to look at him, sadness in my eyes. Gabriel turned and looked away from me. He couldn't even look me in my eyes. Coward. "I trust that you will behave yourself and keep up appearances for the festival."Gabriel stated, pausing for a while before leaving the chamber just as quickly as he entered. At that moment I felt nothing and everything. The man that I had given everything to, the one person that was supposed to love me, had discarded me like trash. Then and there I had broken down. I couldn't hold in the pain any longer. 

Roasted meat and loud music wafted through the Roman air. The people danced and drank in happiness. The atmosphere was filled with joy in life. All these people, did not know the pain that surged through my body with every step I took towards the stage. If they did, they pretended to not see it. Some gave me looks of pity, some didn't acknowledge me at all. I didn't know what was worse. To be pitied, or to now be so unimportant. As I moved forward I began to see Gabriel standing on the stage next to a woman. When I moved closer I could see the woman was dressed in fine clothing, but most importantly, her belly had a small roundness to it. Her hair was curled in tight blonde ringlets, half of it was twisted on top of her head fanning her petite face like a halo. She looked sweet. I could not bring myself to hate her. She was just another pawn in Gabriel's greedy lifestyle. Balbus stood off to the side of the stage sometimes whispering small things into Gabriel's ear. Gabriel did not look at her, nor did he look at anyone. He stared off into the distance in deep thought, his eyebrows cinched in frustration and shame. 

As I walked up the steps to the stage the crowd of Romans began to grow silent. Balbus wore a smug grin as he turned to me, the pregnant woman watching me keenly, and Gabriel , he looked at me with emotions I could not describe. Sorrow, regret, pity, and admiration. I couldn't look at him. I couldn't take that pain. It was so quiet you could hear every step I took on the wooden stage creak with tension. I was supposed to smile and turn politely towards the crowd. This is what a good wife would do. "Your highn-"The pregnant woman said but before she could continue her words I had whipped out the dagger I hid in my sleeve and slit her throat. Her eyes bulged in shock, one hand clutching her torn neck and the other holding her round belly. She collapsed to the ground with a loud thud. Her blood ran down the stage and my hands. Gabriel had a flash of shock cross his features before they quickly turned to a blank expression as he stared at her body. I walked towards Balbus and dropped the bloodied knife at his feet making a clinking sound of sharp metal, spattering blood on his leather sandals. His faced contorted in fear and shock."Tell those who question my position as queen, to keep their tongues just as they wish to keep their heads."I stated turning and gracefully descending the stages stairs. 

I walked down towards the crowd, them instantly making a path for me back towards the palace. I kept my head held high, but inside I knew my soul had sunken to the bottom.