Next to me | #Wattys2019

Chapter 13

I grabbed his chin and turned it to face me, "Stop lying to yourself Graham, let yourself be happy for once."

Still with his eyes closed he mumbled, "I'm scared, I'm so scared of being myself, Laura."

I looked at him with pity, "I know," I cupped his cheek and caressed it sofly, "But we can work it out. Let me in Graham, let me in and I'll help you."

Graham opened his eyes and we locked gazes, his beautiful green eyes penetrated in mine and sent a shiver through my spine, just like everytime I looked through his eyes.

GRAHAM'S POINT OF VIEW

"Okay, so Graham... you're leaving the whole winter break?" Dr. Ross, my psychologist asked me.

"Yup," I answered him excitedly.

He arched his eyebrows, "You look happy, that's strange..."

I rolled my eyes, "Hey! I am a happy person..."

"I've been your pshycologist for 5 months now, Graham. And you've improved so much." Dr. Ross looked at me proudly, he was a middaged man, probably around my mom's age, he had light brown hair and black eyes, his teeth were perfectly straigh, he was often smiling. He was a great man, about what I've heard, he had just passed through a divorce. And still, there he was, listening to all I had to say once a month and always smiling.

"Thank you Dr. Ross, you've helped me a lot too..." I smiled at him, "So... since I'm getting better, when will I be able to quit the sessions?"

He chuckled, "Oh Graham, you have still a long way ahead before you quit your sessions with me," He quickly wrote something on his notebook and proceeded, "So, what are you doing for winter break?"

"I'm staying with a few friends in my house back in New Hampshire," I explained.

He furrowed his eyebrows, "The weather there is horrible..."

I let out a little laugh, "I know, I know..."

Dr. Ross looked at me weirdly, "Graham, there's something going on, right?"

I stared at him in confusion.

"You are so happy and laughing so much, what happened in this past month that you didn't tell me?" He wiggled his eyebrows.

I passed a hand through my hair making it look messier, I didn't want to tell him the truth but after all, he had to know, it was his job, "I kind of... um," I cleared my throat, "Kissed a girl... kind of."

Dr. Ross stared blankly at me, "So what? In these past months you've kissed a whole bunch of girls and you've never been this... happy," He bit his pen, "Maybe this girl is special?"

I bit my lip with embarassement, "Oh Dr. Ross, she's amazing!" I let out instantly regreting it at the sight of him scrabbling in his notebook.

"How come you've never told me about this girl?" He raised an eyebrow.

I flexed my jaw, "She's my... little secret."

"What do you mean?" He asked me.

I looked asides, "No one knows about us, no one but her and I."

Dr. Ross pressed his lips harder, "Please don't tell me this is all about that popularity game you're always playing to?"

I sighed, "Well, yeah... I mean, I like her, a lot, seriously, I do, and I think she does too, and oh Dr. Ross I don't understand, how can she like me? I've acted so badly with her and still she put her faith on me..." I told him, just when I said that I felt like my heart had just opened two big gates and Dr. Ross was able to see through them.

"I see... I see..." He muttered, "So you like her but you tear her away? That's nonsense, don't you think?"

I rubbed my forehead, "I guess it is... I don't know..."

"Just because your dad died doesn't mean you have to give up on people, you know?" Dr. Ross said softly.

I looked at him, "He was the only one, the only one who encouraged me to be myself. Not even my mom! She wanted me to join the football team, be a doctor, she wanted me to be perfect, just like everyone else."

"We've already discussed everything about your mom, Graham..." He said seriously.

I winced, "He was the only one... the only one..." I felt something liquid creating in my eyes as the memories of my dad flew through my mind, but I couldn't cry, boys don't cry.

"I feel how you're trying not to cry," Dr. Ross looked at me with pity, "Sometimes it isn't bad to cry, you know? Sometimes tears don't reflect weakness but bravery."

I shook my head and blinked a couple of times, ignoring what he had just said, "How am I supposed to be myself now that my dad isn't here anymore?"

"You know what to do," He whispered, "You must stick to someone who gives you the same confidence, sympathy, courage and... love as your father."

"I've tried. But I don't want to risk it all and hurt her," I muttered painfully.

Dr. Ross arched an eyebrow, "So it's a her?"

I looked at him amused and nodded, "And she's coming with me this winter break."

Dr. Ross smiled widely, "Then you know what to do, tell her, tell her everything, tell her you need her, try."

I nodded and smiled, now everything was easier, now I knew what to do. After all pshycologists aren't that bad... They're like that little voice that whispers what you must do in your head, but louder.

Author's Note
ITS BEEN A LOOONG TIME WITHOUR NEW CHAPTERS BUT I'LL U ALL ABOUT IT WHEN I UPLOAD AGAIN, WHEN I UPLOAD AGAAAAAIIIIN OOOHOHOOOOOOH

hope ya digged it!
Peace Out