The (After) Life Of The Party...

Beer Bottle Kisses And Blown Eardrums.

"We walk the streets at night,
We go where eagles dare,
They picked up every movement
They pick up every loser,
With jaded eyes and features
You think they really care."
- Where Eagles Dare, Misfits.

He turned up the speakers to max and "Everlong" by the Foo Fighters came on, the catchy drum beat making me feel like there were gunmen shooting my feet. Shame I could only dance when I felt stoned.

It was getting louder as more people arrive. Patrick was sitting by the kitchen island, talking to some stranger. A huddle of girls walked in, and I had to admit they looked pretty hot. The one at the front was the one I had my eye on. Big, blonde and beautiful. She looks my way and I gave her my infamous grin. Blondie blushed and turned back to the group. I'll work on her later. Like they said, the night was still young.

"Hey." It's Mikey. "Can we talk?"
"Sure." He took my arm and guided me to the back yard. He knew the way around, after all it was his house.

Mikey lead me to an alcove by the fish pond. He seemed a little anxious. No one was really close and there was an outside lamp thing by the wall so our faces looked kinda ghostly.
"You okay dude? You seem a little..." I searched my mind for the right word. "Uptight."
He looked me in the eyes. Awkward washed over me.
" Well, I just wondered... I..."
I just wanted him to hurry up. I had a fucking hot girl to get with.

"I really like you." Wait, what???
"Awwww thanks dude I really like you too." He turned a deep shade of pink.
"No, Pete, I mean I really like you."
My stomach flips. I had nothing against being gay but I was pretty sure I was straight. I didn't want to upset him. For once in my life, Pete Wentz had nothing to say.

"You don't feel the same, do you?"
Mikey looked sad. I don't ever want to be the one to make him sad. "Mikey, it's not that I just..."

Without thinking, I blindly shoved my accusing face forward in the half light and pecked him on the cheek. " I'm sorry, but I'm not that kind of guy." I jogged back inside leaving him speechless and alone.

The music was louder as I got back into Mikey's living room. I have to push through to get through the doorway; like most house parties, this one has gone way beyond invites and the whole town seems to know it's on. Part of the reason why I love going to a party, but not actually hosting one. A couple is making out on the couch. I avoided them and turned towards the kitchen, wondering if Patrick was still there.

I hate how wherever I go, I fuck up. I can't help it. I swear I was most probably born to be a douchebag. Those negative thoughts were coming in again. Overthinking. That is so dangerous. I needed to get something fake in me quick. I didn't see Patrick, but someone else was by the window, rolling a joint. I headed for them like I was in a fire with only one exit.

"You up to sharing?" I sounded so desperate. The guy lifted his head. He was almost double my height and before I even saw his face I knew who it was.
"Hey, nice to see you too old pal," Brendon Urie handed me a freshly rolled joint and I held it as he flicked open his lighter. "Great party."
The substance caught alight.
"Yeah, I guess." I took a long inhale and instantly felt better. "You seen Patrick?" Nope. Thought you two were inseparable though. What happened to those days?" I shrugged the question off. It wasn't that him and I were in the middle of a fight or anything, we just needed some space sometimes. When you are with four people for the majority of your life, including being cooped up together in small spaces such as tour buses and recording studios, it does tend to get a little uncomfortable.

I stood my back leaning against the table with Brendon until my eyes were swimming and red from the smoke (not all of it left through the window) and my head felt light and giddy. I remember leaving Urie on his own and stumbling into some other room, I don't know which one. Oh yeah, and I must of hit my head on something for I have a big bump there. Then I just lay on the floor, too stoned to wake up and laughed myself in and out of consciousness. No one really cared and no one came to find me. I hated myself then but kept laughing.

All I know is that I didn't get with that girl that night. Mikey popped into my head, his big doe eyes almost hurting me and I started to cry like the big baby I was. The walls started to curl into me. I shut my eyes content.