Finding Me

Chapter 14

She takes a deep breath and then smiles at me. "You're not the only one who has faced a bully like Cassandra."

I pause as I realize that I might have been wrong about Alli. "You were bullied?" I ask straightforwardly.

She nods. "Pretty badly. It happened at the place I lived before I moved here. That's part of the reason I moved here."

"So, you told your parents?" I ask.

She gives me a sad smile. "My dad only found out a couple of months ago. My mom had died a few months before he realized what was going on at school."

"She died," I state, but it comes out more like a question.

She nods and stares at the ocean. "It's been hard for us, but we've slowly been getting through it together."

I don't say anything in response, so we just sit in a comforting silence. How can I tell her how sorry I am that her mom died? How can I say that I misjudged her? How I can I tell her that my situation is similar to hers? How can I ask her all the questions that are swarming around in my head?

I can't, so I guess that's why I find myself asking her just one question, "Does it ever make you worried that you're able to be so open with people?"

She looks back at me and gives me a smile. "I'm not usually open with anyone because I'm not used to being able to talk to someone besides my dad. You're different, though. For some reason, I feel drawn to you. I guess that's why I want us to be friends and why I told you what I've experienced recently. I feel like we're sort of similar."

I sigh and whisper, "More than you realize."

"Have you ever thought about telling someone about what you've gone through?" she asks, letting me know that she heard my whispered statement.

I let out a slight laugh and reply, "I don't really think I want to go back to a shrink again."

She laughs. "It isn't that bad. I've been going to one since I moved here."

I laugh again. "Must not be the one I had to go to a few years ago."

"Maybe not, but Maya, an expert can help you out a lot. I know I've been learning a lot," she replies.

I sigh. "Not for me."

"Okay, just don't let yourself bottle up your feelings for too long. You're going to blow one day, and it won't be pretty," she tells me.

I just nod. We sit for another few minutes before she stands up and tells me she has to go. I nod again as I stand up and even smile at her. She smiles back and then walks away in the direction of the path leading back to town. I wave goodbye to her, even though she can't see me wave. I sit back down in the sand and stare at the ocean.

I close my eyes and take a deep breath. The constant sound of the tide coming in and going out again gives me a feeling of serenity after everything that has happened in the last few days. The flashbacks and dreams have made me jumpier, and Cassandra's "attack" doesn't really help me with that part of my life. Now, I even find myself beginning to let go of some of my barriers. It's wearing me out.

"Maya?" I turn around at the sound of someone saying my name and see Nick behind me.

"Yes?" I ask as I turn back around and wait for him to come over to me and sit down.

He does just that and says, "Principal Beck said that I can move forward with my idea."

I sigh and reply, "That's awesome!"

"Maya, are you okay?" he asks me with concern.

"Just tired, like usual. It's no big deal," I tell him.

I look over and see him nodding his head. "What're you doing out here? Aren't you usually eating dinner right about now?" he asks, changing the subject.

I sigh again. "I just needed to have some time to think to myself. Don't worry, I told Emma where I was this time."

He laughs. "If there's anyone I'm going to worry about, it isn't you. I think you can handle yourself in just about any situation."

I sigh and stand up, wincing at the pain I feel in my side and back as I stand up. "If only you knew," I mutter, making sure he can't hear me.

He stands up and stands in front of me. "Are you okay? You look like you're hurt."

I look up at him and give him the best smile I can and reply, "Just fine. I'm just a little sore."

He raises an eyebrow. "Are you sure?"

I nod and begin to walk in the direction of the house. "I've got to get to dinner. I'll see you later," I say.

He continues to walk beside me and replies, "Do you think Emma would mind if I joined y'all for dinner?"

I stop and look at him with an 'are you serious' look. "I'm pretty sure she loves you, so I think she'll be excited to see you."

He gives me a mischievous look and in mock seriousness, says, "I think she's a bit old for me. Should I be worried?"

I roll my eyes and whack him with my hand. He lets out a deep laugh that warms me, and I suddenly find myself laughing along with him. We walk up to the deck and into the house, still laughing. It's only when my uncle walks into the room that we stop.

"What's going on here?" he asks.

Since I'm in a good mood, I just reply in a normal tone, "Nothing. Inside joke."

That makes Nick laugh again for some strange reason, paving the way for me to start laughing again as well. My uncle looks back and forth at us in confusion. Soon, Emma walks into the room and also stares at us laughing our heads off for no apparent reason. We laugh even harder when we see her.

When we finally manage to calm down, Emma asks, "So, you two need to tell me something? I've never seen or heard Maya laugh, so I'm intrigued to know what has her so tickled. Care to explain, Nick?"

Nick chokes back another laugh and unsteadily replies, "Just an inside joke. Now, do you mind setting an extra place at the table?"

"I'd love to have you join us! Let me go set that place. Oh, Sam, why don't you follow me," Emma says excitedly as she leads my uncle out of the room.

I look over at Nick, and he smiles. I find myself smiling back. Maybe dinner won't be so bad this time.