Making Babies #NewAdult

~Twenty~

        The pain that traveling from my lower abdomen to my lower back was excruciating enough to wake me up. I opened my eyes to find the room pitch dark and realized that it was probably still night. Next to me lay Billie as she slept peacefully. I was in pain, truly agonizing pain which set panic into me. I shook Billie awake as my body started to tremble. The truth was, deep down I knew what was happening and that wasn't good. It wasn't good at all.

        "Billie, wake up. Something is wrong."

         Billie was squirming on the bed for a second, unwilling to open her eyes but she had to, she had to open her eyes because I was on the brink of losing my mind and freaking the fvck out.

         "Billie, I beg you wake up." With trembling hands, I tried shaking her awake.

        She must have heard the panic in my voice as she jumped. "Eva? What's wrong honey?" She asked with concern as I felt her move around on the bed before leaning over to the lamp. The light came on a second later, blinding me with how bright it was.

      I was holding on to the covers with dear life, unwilling to take them off me as I thought that maybe, if I couldn't see what was happening, it probably wasn't happening.

          "Let me see." Billie spoke softly as she grabbed a handful of the covers and tried to pull it off me. I held on even tightly, not wanting to let go."Eva, I have to see." she tried again.

          With my eyes closed, I hysterically shook my head and pressed my lips tightly together. "Come on, it's okay." She whispered and finally, I slowly loosened the iron hold I had on the sheets as she pulled them off.

           She gasped and my heart sunk. "Oh, fuck! Eva, Fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK! there's so much blood."

          My eyes filled with unshed tears as I kept them closed, my body, shaking softly at what it was losing "We have to go to the hospital right now."

         I heard her fumble with a few things here and there as I stayed sat on the bed. It was as if I were glued on, unable to move as I felt just the emptiness as overwhelming as if I was drowning. Things that couldn't possibly be explained, they had to be felt...experienced.

         "Hi, I need an ambulance at my friend's apartment. She's pregnant but has lost a lot of blood, please hurry." Her voice breaking as she said those last words before giving my address to the dispatcher and throwing the phone next to the lamp.

          She sat next to me. Her hands immediately going around my shoulder. "It's going to be okay. The ambulance will be here any minutes."

          I realized, even in my trance, that I was still shaking uncontrollably.  I wondered, as I finally opened my eyes and stared absently at the huge bay window of my bedroom, why was all of this happening to me.

           Was I not a good enough person? What had I done in my past life that was so naughty and horryfing that my current life was full of sadness and heartaches.

           "You're going to be okay, you hear me? You're going to be okay." I heard Billie's voice in the distance as she repeated the words over and over again. Probably trying to reassure me, to keep me calm, but those words did nothing. They were more so like the wind traveling near my ear, forgotten the second they were said.

          Maybe she thought, if she repeated them enough times, they would eventually come true. Maybe something magical would happen and this scene in my life story would be erased with one swipe of a magical eraser?

          Not likely, but one could still dream a little.

           I didn't know how long we sat on the bed with Billie softly crying as she lay her head on my shoulder. It could have been only a few minutes or it could have possibly been an eternity, I wasn't sure but what I was certain about, as I heard unfamiliar voices speak all around me, was that this single moment was going to be my descent into hell if I didn't do something about it.