Punch, Cut, Kiss

PCK Chapter 30!!!!

I stood in front of his hospital door, my eyes glued to the silver handle. I could feel the cold metal on my hand. Michael was standing beside me with his bright eyes examining my face.

“It’ll be okay,” he said. “My mom said that things always have to get worse before they can get better, and normally it’s rock bottom when people come here.”

I smiled down at him. “Your mother is right, and she should be happy to have a son like you.”

“Heck yeah, she should,” he said, putting his hands on my back and pushing me forward. “Now, go get ‘em, Tiger!”

I nodded and pushed on the handle, quickly opening the door and sliding in before I gave myself the option to rethink what I was doing.

The room and smell looked exactly as it had the few hours earlier. Crinkling my nose, I walked further in and looked towards the bed. My father wasn’t there. My eyes wandered around the room and his dull eyes met mine just for a second, then he gazed out the window. He was perched on the small pane with his forehead pressed against the glass.

“You look like her,” he said, speaking softly in a far off manner. “Exactly like her.” He heaved a small sigh and I slid down into a chair across the room from him. “I know I’ve been a terrible dad. Hell, I haven’t even been a dad to you. I don’t remember the last time I spoke to you, or looked at you, or even hugged you.”

My eyes slid to the white sheets of his bed and I blinked back the tears that threatened to spill out on my cheeks. “I don’t remember you at all,” I whispered, trying to mask the quiver in my voice.

I could feel his eyes on my face and I looked up at him. His back was against the wall and the bags under his eyes added ten years onto his real age. “I’m not me, anymore. I’m not like your mother. I’m not like you. When things get rough, I can’t fight through it or help anyone. I’m selfish. I had to save myself.”

I felt my brows pulled together and I shook my head. “You didn’t save anyone. I tried to help you, but… but you were gone. I’ve been living with a stranger since mom died.” My lip started quivering and my eyes were stinging painfully. “My father would never lay a finger on me. My father would never try to take his daughter’s virginity. My father wouldn’t spend all of his money on beer and prostitutes with his daughter listening in the next room.”

Each word sliced into his mind like a poisoned dagger. He physically broke down with every word. By the time I had finished my rant, he was doubled over and on his knees, sobbing. My heart sank at the sight and I wanted to take everything I had just said back. “H-help me,” he pleaded through his sobs.

I let the tears roll down my face and I shrugged. “I don’t know how.”

He stopped crying and wiped his face, hobbling up into a standing position and nodding. “That’s it,” he said, and walked to his bed, hoisting himself onto it. He was breathless by the time he started talking again. “You’ve been the parent long enough.” He gasped between every word. “I’m going to figure this one out.”

I nodded and sniffled as his swollen eyes fluttered shut. His stillness was almost scary, and the only thing reassuring me that he was still breathing was the beeps of the machines.

After a moment of watching him and combing his hair back into a decent look, I stood and walked out into the hallway of the hospital. A small laugh escaped my lips when I saw Michael and the little girl who helped me in the bathroom holding hands. Michael rolled his eyes and told me that a picture would last longer.

He wrapped his arm around the girl’s shoulder. “Oh, and uh, your boyfriends are in the waiting area.” I nodded and ruffled his hair. He shouted about how uncool that was and his tiny partner laughed.

“Don’t you think her lips look a little over done?” Max was holding a magazine open in front of Nick’s face.

Nick shrugged. “I mean, compared to her eyes, I think it goes nice. Maybe lighter shade of pink, though.”

Max furrowed his brows and nodded. “Yeah, you’re right. It really captures the bold look.”

I covered my mouth with my hand, but the laughter couldn’t be muffled. A loud snort escaped my nose and both boys looked up at me. Max gave me his goofy, crooked smile and Nick’s eyes got a little wide from embarrassment. “Max, did you turn my boyfriend gay?”

Max waggled his eyebrows and slid his hand up Nick’s leg. “Honey,” he said in an overly exaggerated feminine voice. “It didn’t take much persuasion.”

I laughed and Nick smiled, brushing Max’s hand off. “There’s only one person I’ve got my eye on,” he said, winking at me.

“You’re the one that he wants!” Max started singing in the tune of the song from Grease.

“Ooh, ooh, ohh, honey!” I finished.

Nick shook his head and stood up. “You guys are weird.”

“I guess I do look a little Sandy-ish,” I said, looking down at my clothes.

Nick walked up to me and kissed my nose, sliding his hands around my waist and pulling me closer. For a second I forgot we were in public, at a hospital, and that I had just had a semi life changing conversation with my dad. I left myself lean into his chest and I grasped his shirt in my fists and he kissed my forehead. “Let’s get you home,” he whispered, cupping my neck and rubbing his thumb under my eye.

I nodded and pecked his lips gently. I wasn’t ready to let go and neither was he because he held me all the way to the parking lot and pulled me into the backseat with him.

“You guys make me sick,” Max said, climbing into the driver’s seat and starting the car.

I lay down in the seat with my face pressed into Nick’s stomach. “Can I stay with you tonight?” I asked him.

He pulled the hairbow from hair and ran his fingers through my hair. “You can stay with me every night.”

Author's Note after the epilogue.