4: The Playboy's Victim

Chapter thirty nine:you'll never see it coming cause your blinded from the start

Bago pa ako mabaliw sa sobrang katahimikan nag pasiya nakong umalis doon at mag paalam kay Christian kahit wala pang isang oras kaming nag-uusap. I was walking my ass fast to get out in that place when he stoped me. frowning I face him. "I can't believe you just said that Chris! kaibigan ko yung tao, hindi mo nirespeto sa harap ko mismo."

"So were talking about respect now? Alam ko namang hindi mo aamining buntis ka kaya ako na nag sabi."

I was stoped a moment before answering. I almost forget how much he knows me. "Hindi ko naman kailangang sabihin yun sa lahat ng taong kilala ko! I wasn't ready for this to come. I need time to.."

"Katulad rin ng hindi mo pag papakilala sakin bilang boyfriend mo ganun ba yon?"

Tulad dati hindi pa man siya tapos mag salita sinisingitan na siya nito at ngayon hindi na siya maka react. hindi niya alam kung anong sunod na sasabihin. She don't know what to say to that. he's right. he's always right about anything about me. He wants to go so he can met my friend is that it? akala ko sa.. I'm so stupid.

"We need to talk,"

"Hindi pa ba tayo nag-uusap nito?" I half yeld at him. kahit gusto kong babaan boses ko hindi ko magawa. I can't control it.

"Were not talking baby, were arguing.." I can't help but to relax in his low voice. I melt in his hands touching my face feeling my anger drift away like a wind.

Ano pa bang pag-uusapan namin? kaming dalawa? "I just don't want to fight with you anymore.. I hate arguing with you. I'm serious about you always. this is not about us anymore sweetness."

"I know," gusto kong aminin na ganun rin nararamdaman ko. Ayoko ring nag aaway kami, it feels like something was dead in part of me and I hate that feeling.
Sanay may lakas ako ng loob para sabihin yun sa kanya. sana katulad niya ako na hindi takot aminin kung ano ba talagang nararamdaman niya tulad ngayon. I'm so weak, not brave enough to tell everything about him. Siguro nga ako ang problema sa relasyon namin dahil everytime na mag step forward siya nag step backward ako pabalik. He's always the one to put our relationship stable, to keep it going and I didn't do anything. Siya yung laging diterminado samin, I always have douts in my self. That's the problem with me. this situation isn't about the bet anymore.. It's more of me now. I'm the real problem here not him.

I let him take me. Were going home not arguing, not saying anything. Walang nag sasalita saming dalawa siguro natatakot na baka may maling masabe na mag hantong nanaman sa pag tatalo. It's a good feeling really to be sitting in the front his car beside him.. while he's holding my hand with his other while driving. Hindi ko siya tinanong kung bakit niya ako dinala sa Bar na iyon. It's my first time to enter this without hiding my true self. normal na pag tinginan kami, mahigpit ang hawak niya sa kamay ko. He drag me in the dance floor and look me with those eyes. Memories... good old memories is all I can remember here. Dito mismo sa lugar nato kami unang nag kita, that time I thought I still like Sean..that end up to be his brother. This is where it all started not in that stupid bet. At the first place our lives is destinied to met across one another. The song was right. There's always that one person that will always have your heart, you'll never see it coming cause your blinded from the start.

I was blind of the fact that I still liked Sean but I'm really not.

He placed my hands in his neck while he rest his in my waist. Swaying me slowly. He look me with his eyes and were like a magnet slowly moving closer.. and closer until we can only breathe each other's oxygen. I let him kiss me, taking me away. he moves slowly like he want to remember me and this moment. And I forget that were not alone that were in a public and crowded bat that's totally not a great place to do this.

...

My eyes was closed as he placed a tralling down kiss in my neck to my now exposed colar bones. We just got home and were here again in my fireplace just like every other time we made love. It'll be always perfect with him here and no one else.

We actually talked. Hindi ako nagalit sa kanya nang sinabi niya sakin lahat. him about him letting my father stay in his house, and him punching Sean's nose for the second time. Nakakainis oo but you can't stay mad from someone you actually love. Ang mahalaga nag sorry siya tulad ng inasta niya kanina. nag usap kami ng maayos at mahinahon. I explain my self too and admit my own mistakes. I agree to make this relationship work kahit na ang daming tanong sa isip ko. I'm not letting 'what if's' stop me from doing something I knew I'll regret in the future.

"I love you... so much." katulad ng mga apoy parang nag liliyab rin ang mga mata niyang naka titig sakin ngayon.

Hindi niya madalas sabihin sakin to dahil madalas niyang iparamdam sakin, kung gano at kung bakit. And that's more than enough in this world. There's no explaination on what's the feeling knowing someone loves you more than themselves, that there's this someone who will make you realize why, will tell you why did you deserve something you think you didn't really deserve in the first place. Nasabi ko bang nag babasa ako ng mga librong binili niya para sakin? I always knew he owns the book shop in the town but I'm not asking him about it. Hindi sa hindi ako interesado, gusto ko lang na siya mismo nag oopen up sakin..

Tell me. how will you not love someone that met you at your worst but still look at you like you were the best thing in the world? I always say that I hate things that I really love I'm just like that.

Walang ibang nangyari kundi siya paulit ulit na sinasabing mahal niya ako. Kissing me all over everywhere telling me that I am just his. There's nothing more than intimate than that right? if isn't the most sweetest thing then I don't know what else is..

"Chris?" hindi na ito nag angat ito mula sa pag kakabaon sa kanyang leeg para sumagot

"Yeah?"

"I love you too," and I can feel him smilling against my skin. mas lalo nitong pinalapit ang sarili sakin to the point that I can't breathe. "Stop being cute baby. you make me want to take you right now,"

Too much to ruin the moment. Great.