Chapter thirty eight: I want to feel them both in my arms

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Chris POV

Nag mamadali akong pumunta sa bahay niya nang may makapag sabi saking nakita raw siyang umuwi nong araw na yon, I was breathless as I search for her around the house silently hoping that I'll see her for the first time again after two weeks. And she was there.. She's here. She finally came back and it's real. Napasandal ako sa pintuan dahil doon, she's sleeping with her pets like their cuddling each other. Hindi lamang dahil doon kung bakit siya nag mamadaling makita ito, to his surprise that morning. Every person in that village is sending him Good lucks and Congratulations like he have won the Oscars. But it was more of a oscar worthy knowing that she's pregnant and I made that to her. I fucking totally made it this time after so many attempts! Hindi niya inaalis ang tingin rito dahil baka mawala iyon sa isang iglap. He was afraid to move or even blink that she might dissapear in his front.

She's home, everything will be okay again, I'll fix us. I won't let it happen again.

Nathan told me about it, duon ko lang rin naintindihan kung bakit naka ngiti silang lahat sakin na para akong nag bold sa t.v ng araw na yon. The wait is so worth it. Looking at her peacefully sleeping at her fire place is.. I can't put it into words. I let out a sigh of relief when I walk closer towards her and she didn't dissapear. Hindi niya to ginising at hinayaan niya lang ang sarili na panuorin ito. Alam niya kasing pag nagising ito ay papaalisin na siya ng dalaga. I know she still hates my guts right now but I can take that as long as I can see her everyday.

What did she do in her two weeks? she looks.. so tired, he wonders and asking himself. Iniingatan niya ba sarili niya? Kumakain kaya siya ng tatlong beses isang araw? iniisip niya kaya ko? I smiled sadly at my own train of thoughts about this crazy girl. Because I know my self that I don't do good when she left. Hindi siya makakain ng maayos kahit na gano pa kasarap ang luto ng ama nito, he can't concentrate, he can't think of anything but her. And I'm glad that she's fine. She still looks the same, days will past and her body will change but my feelings for her will remain the same. It takes so much control not to touch her right now.. I want to feel them both in my arms but she'll hate me even more if I take one step close from her. Baka pag ginawa niya yun madamay pa ang inosenteng bata sa kanyang sinapupunan.

Hindi niya alam ang gagawin nang gumalaw ito. I'm not going anywhere not now that I know that she's pregnant. And then she see's me. Her eyes locking at mine making me weak. All the longing, the pain and the sadness are passing over me by just that. Hindi na niya kailangang mag salita dahil alam kona agad na nasaktan ko siya. She stands up still yawning and look around the mess she abandon before she pass out sleeping. Maraming kalat doon, mga balat ng chocolates na matagal nang naka stock sa kanyang reff, junkfoods and take-outs. Completely ignoring my presence I let out a sigh and helped her clean the room.

"Anong ginagawa mo dito?" I almost shiver in her cold tone asking me. Hindi siya agad nakasagot dahil parang nawalan siya ng lakas.

What I'm expecting? asking me okay? how I'm doing? I almost forgot that she hates me.

"Nandito ako kase gusto kitang makita," I told her honestly.

"Pwede ka nang umalis, ayokong makita ka." I ignore the pain in her own words alone. hindi dapat ako pang hinaan ng loob ngayon dahil lamang sa mga sinasabi niya.

"I'm not going anywhere." Iniwan siya nitong mag isa roon pero sinundan ko siya sa kusina.

Katulad niya tinapon ko rin ang mga kalat na pinulot ko kanina. Since she left I've been taking care of her house and pets and it includes buying her groceries. I don't mind spending my money when it comes to the woman I love. like I said, everything about her is worth it. I still don't know if she see those pairs of lacey lingeries I bought for her without her even knowing. And I can't wait to see her in those thin.. almost showing fabric. God I can't wait...

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