Chapter 23|My butt's numb

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Unedited. Enjoy reading my terrible grammar ;)


Mrs Martinez - I mean Stella, led me through the winding corridors and hallways of the hospital. I was glad to have her with me otherwise I was certain I would've found myself in a completely different place than I was aiming for.

We stopped outside a door. It was identical to the others that lined both sides of the hallway, except for the room number and the patient name written in black marker. I knew it was Caleb's room, firstly because his name was on the door. Like duh. Secondly, because I could hear him before I could see him.

"What are they doing to him in there?" I asked Stella, slightly alarmed at the voices floating through the crack under the door.

She grinned. "Oh, it's not what they're doing to him, it's what he's doing to them."

"That doesn't sound good," I commented.

"See it for yourself," she shrugged, pushing open the door so it was ajar. I smiled, thanking her and apologising profusely for almost knocking her out earlier. She waved her hand dismissively, telling me that it was nonsense, then going to tend to a patient in the room next to Caleb's.

I cautiously entered the room, only to be greeted people. People of the medically trained tribe. Aka doctors and nurses. They were scattered around the bed in the middle of the room which is where Caleb sat with a disgusted look on his face. The two doctors who stood near the door with amused looks on their faces let me through without hesitation.

Caleb held a tray with what looked to be some kind of meat, and vegetables cut into small cubes. He beckoned one of the two nurses closer, still not having seen me, as I watched on curiously.

He pointed to the tray. "Are you seeing what I'm seeing right now?" He asked her.

"That's your dinner," she said slowly, as if his brain function was damaged by his injury.

"That's not what I asked," he said blankly. "I asked if you're seeing what I'm seeing. Are you seeing this shit storm on my plate?"

The nurse blanched, clearly not expecting that kind if reaction from a patient who she thought was mentally incapable.

"It's good for you," the nurse protested.

"Me? What about you nurse, would you eat this?" He asked, scooping a chunk of meat onto a spoon and shoving it towards her.

She made a face, stepping away to avoid the spoon Caleb was so politely threatening her with.

He smirked triumphantly at her actions, answering for her. "No, of course you wouldn't eat this," by now he was waving the jello like meat around like a mad man. "You wouldn't eat this because its spam."

"You know what you do with spam?"

The nurse, finally catching on that he wasn't going to let her speak anyway, waited patiently for an answer.

"Because spam is the shit you wanna get rid of, the stuff you wanna banish to hell so it stays there forever."

"Your point is?" The nurse asked.

"My point is that this," he gestured to the plate, "has to go."

He looked up, his eye catching mine, causing him to grin.

"H, you're just in time for the finale. Ladies and gents, please start mentally preparing yourselves for the awesomeness that is about to unfold before your very eyes. Now you probably don't know this, but I am a totally qualified magician, who is not completely bullshitting you right now. This is one of the many magic tricks I have perfected over the years."

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