Where We Are Now (COMPLETED) #WATTYS2016

The Continuation

I hate myself.

For not eating

For Drew dying

For hating myself

I feel so alone in this world now and I don't know what to do. My old "friends" have been making fun of me for my children. So what? I'm a teen mom. It doesn't mean anything! Why are people so fed up with this! It's not like I have an STD or something. The only person who sticks by me no matter what is Cayce. I know Drew would've too. That's my problem. It's been almost a month and I still can't get over Drew. With his beautiful, brown eyes, His smile that lights up a room, and his laugh. Oh his laugh brought me joy. Key word: brought

One Tuesday night I rocked Drew and Megan to sleep. I kissed them goodnight and placed them in their cribs. I turned off the light and walked over to my bed. The bright light of my laptop shown throughout the room as I opened it. I clicked on the tab "YouTube" and started watching Dan and Phil race across a pool in onesies, on insane floats. I'm silently laughing to myself, hopefully not to wake the kids. Then my phone vibrates on my leg. I pause the video and glimpse at my phone

Unknown Number:
Hey, wanna bang? I want some kids just like Drew! At least I won't die before they're born. 😂

I had no idea how to respond. I just let it be

Unknown Number:
So you're not gonna talk?

Messages kept coming in from random people. They were saying things like
"You're such a slut!"
"I want kids too!"
"Wanna bang?"
"What's your address? Maybe we can have some fun."
"Drew shouldn't be the only one with kids!"
"You should kill yourself!"
"At least I won't leave like he did!"

I threw my phone across the room. I reached for my nightstand and opened to drawer. I reached in and grabbed the knife that lay there. I slowly pull up the sleeve to my shirt. Most of my cuts have healed. Maybe that's why the nurses didn't see them. I sink the knife into my skin. Blood oozes out as I sit there, tears rolling down my cheeks. I try not to make any noise so I don't wake anyone. I continue until I'm hallway down my arm. I look down to see the horror of the blood. I run to the bathroom, blood dripping everywhere, and grab a wet towel. It burns to lay it on the wound, but I kind of enjoy the pain. Like I deserve it. For whatever I did to deserve this kind of hell.

Short but meaningful!

I got my braces off and it feels really weird and slimy.

My friend and I have started a YouTube channel called Our Point and today we have uploaded a video telling you about Katie! https://youtu.be/Jt7WO0n_a_4 link's right there. Hope you enjoy!

Thank you so much for reading! See ya later!