Chapter 7: Being Popular

66.4K 3K 2.7K

Yo yo yo! In this chappie we talk about becoming popular coupled with random off topic questions. Thanks for the responses in the last chapter! Keep the comments, votes going, it's awesome to read especially for people with no social lives like myself!

Thanks to UniquelyViolet for the awesome picture --->


Reece: Okay, today we're giving tips on how to become popular in school and other shit like that. You guys ready?

Clyde: Fuck you and fuck being popular.
Dean: Everybody hated Clyde because his chicken got everywhere.
Roger: His chicken even had chicken pox!
Brandon: Are we seriously going to talk about Clyde's chicken?

Reece: I hope not. I'm surprised his chicken didn't even commit suicide yet. Okay, what's the first thing you gotta do to become popular?

Clyde: Be a whore.
Dean: Not just any whore, a cheap whore.
Roger: I was never a whore in school, I was the nerd. I'm still the nerd, fuck my life.
Brandon: Cheap whores are fun and you don't have to spend a lot... other than your virginity.

Reece: That's actually true! Okay from all of us here, I'd say Brandon was the most "liked" dude. Why is that?

Clyde: Because he acted like a girl.
Dean: Is somebody jealous over Brandy?
Roger: Clyde would have humped a desk if he was horny. No wonder people preferred Brandon.
Brandon: Also, hardly anybody got to see my chicken. Clyde's chicken was like the Kim Kardashian of our school.

Reece: Even the Janitor saw Clyde's chicky! What's the most attractive thing about popular girls?

Clyde: Their vaginas, definitely.
Dean: They have whore hair; big, straightened whore hair.
Roger: Remember once that popular girl thought that I was royalty to some distant land?
Brandon: Yeah, then she realized you were just a dipshit from Skype.

Reece: Roger lives on Skype, that's a distant land! Okay, off topic: what color hair would you like on girls?

Clyde: Hair on her head or elsewhere?
Dean: Enough with that, Clyde! I like Blonde or black.
Roger: I don't care long as the hair knows something called "boobs".
Brandon: Roger needs to get laid.

Reece: Have any of you had a serious relationship so far?

Clyde: Yeah, got fucked over.
Dean: I got fucked over as well in the middle of nowhere in a fucking car.
Roger: I got fucked over during a Skype session.
Brandon: We all had F.O girls.

Definition of F.O girls: These are girls who fuck you over. They fuck you over so hard that your penaynay probably won't function for a couple of weeks. Most of these girls have vaginas and everybody knows the damage one vagina can do.

Reece: Do you like a girl who's very dramatic?

Clyde: Uh no, that's a bitch. Nobody like them bitches.
Dean: Clyde, your Hanna Montana lookalike was a bitch.
Roger: Yeah she told me that my pants looks like something spongebob's grandmother would wear.
Brandon: She was telling the truth Roger, she was telling the truth.

At this stage we all reminisced about Roger's horrible pants. It looked like a pink fucking unicorn threw up on it. We started to throw words like "Douche, vagina, Edward Cullen Sparkles" at Roger for a few minutes.

Reece: Why do girls like to fight when they're in relationships?

Clyde: Because she secretly wants to hump the daylights out of you.
Dean: I don't think that's the answer Clyde.
Roger: Maybe Hanna Montana did that to him.
Brandon: Don't all vaginas' fight?

Reece: How do you feel when your girlfriend flirts with other guys around you?

Clyde: You threaten to release her sex tape. 
Dean: Wow Clyde, that's just... wow.
Roger: Hanna Montana has a fucking sex tape? Google that shit now! All men report to stations we have a mission! Go Go Go!
Brandon: Jeez, calm your vagina Roger.

Reece: Right, moving on from Roger's little outburst. What would you prefer to be: a popular, nerdy, sporty or unnoticed type of person?

Clyde: A person that bangs.
Dean: A person who becomes an STD nurse to sort out people like Clyde.
Roger: I'm always the nerd, don't steal that position.
Brandon: Wait why would you want to be a male nurse?

Reece: Isn't a doctor a male nurse?

Clyde: What are you? A fucking dumb asswipe? A doctor isn't a male nurse, Reece.
Dean: Even I knew that and I'm dumb as shit, I can't even spell "position" properly. 
Roger: No wonder Clyde's doing your mom.
Brandon: He really can't spell position, he Google's that shit up every time.

Reece: Clyde is not doing my mother! Would you rather be a gay porn star or have no chicken at all?

Definition of Chicken: Since some of you haven't realized what it stood for yet. A chicken is one's penaynay. Beware, chickens come on all shapes and sizes, some more dangerous than others. Not for use with girls under the age of 16.

Clyde: I'd rather have no chicken.
Dean: I'd rather have no chicken and no face than be a gay porn star.
Roger: Not that we're homophobic but some things just don't roll.
Brandon: Hanna Montana won't like no chicky, Clyde.

Reece: How can magazines such as Playboy be better?

Clyde: Have pictures of more vaginas.
Dean: Naked women should deliver them instead of the 80 year old postal guy suffering from arthritis.
Roger: Get a free online issue!
Brandon: 3D pictures, oh yeah.

Reece: So I found this question on Yahoo Answers, so help her out okay.

Ancwer pls?... Ima 14 year old Annd in love with a 18yeR old but allso in a relationship with sum1 else help?

Clyde: What? I can't read this shit Reece, you read it out a loud.
Dean: Holy chicken! I can even spell answer properly.
Roger: That's illegal, girl. You better hope we don't find out who you are because I'll tell your elders.
Brandon: Damn, now 14 year olds have relationships and not us? Fuck this.

Reece: And the final question, what's the one thing that people don't know about you?

Clyde: I once cried to a Mariah Carey song.
Dean: I have- wait what?
Roger: Did he just say he cried to a MC song?
Brandon: Was it touch my body?

This caused a continuous amount of laughter for about ten minutes.

Reece: Answer the question!

Clyde: I already did you whore!
Dean: I have an obsession for lemons. 
Roger: Once a girl Skyped me and she was my ex teacher's daughter.
Brandon: I told a girl I was gay once so she could get off my back.

And that's it, may all you chickens and chicklets have an awesome day! Until next time.


Oh and I have a facebook for wattpad, because my wattpad chat bar is crazy like Clyde's ex girlfriend. SO feel free to invite!



How Boys ThinkWhere stories live. Discover now