Chapter 6: Past Relationships

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Sup sup sup! Sorry for the late update, I was ill and my voice was weird and I sounded like the grudge but anyway, I'm alive!

Oh and this whole interview thing isn't serious, yeah maybe one or two of them decide to answer seriously but guys don't think of vaginas 24/7... we only think of it 24/6.5

Thanks to Noiresque for some awesome questions! You can view her story on the external link --->


In this installment, we hoped to talk about the ex girlfriends, past people they have liked and how to get over break ups. I say we "hoped to talk about" because we did get off topic on a few of the questions... as always

Reece: Alright so we're talking about the end of relationships and weird ex girlfriends and shit like that. Answer well on this one, okay?

Clyde: Dude your voice is alive.
Dean: Aren't you a great friend, Clyde.
Roger: How much fucking times must I tell you, Reece that I'm single, you whore!
Brandon: I always answer well and you do sound like Mary Poppins, Reece.

Reece: Well I'm sorry I got fucking sick, I'm sure it won't happen again. Anyway, What is the worst break up you have ever had?

Clyde: When I broke up with Reece's mother.
Dean: When I was 7 a girl threw a used piece of chewing gum on my face because I broke up with her.
Roger: I can imagine Dean walking around with a piece of chewing gum on his eye.
Brandon: Back in my last year of school, this girl started crying like the rain in London and then suddenly she told the whole school that I had a small penis.

Reece: Well least she knows the right sizes of weeners, Brandon. What's the freakiest thing an ex has ever done?

Clyde: She didn't show me her vagina!
Dean: She pretended to go out with me for a month after we broke up. She even took out a picture of her and a guy with his back towards the camera and claimed it was me.
Roger: She kept calling me on Skype! I was like, bitch please, this homeboy has moved on.
Brandon: Roger, you once told me you had an online relationship with a 14 year old bored boy who claimed to be a girl all along.

Reece: Wait, what? Roger never told me this.

Clyde: Nobody tells you shit Reece because you sit there and laugh like a lil fucker.
Dean: Once I told you a girl punched me and suddenly the whole school knew.
Roger: Thanks Brandon. That was a secret! Fuck my life.
Brandon: Only vaginas keep secrets.

Reece: That's not true. Why do you all pick on me! Bloody unresponsive weiners!

Clyde: You sound like a 10 year old girl.
Dean: Why? Do you wish to see our weiners?
Roger: Your mother has a weiner.
Brandon: Just ask the question, asshole.

Reece: Okay, fine dickheads. When your friend's girlfriend hits on you, what do you do?

Clyde: It already happened.
Dean: I would show her my Shrek ogre face. AAAAAAAAAAAARHGG- Wait, what Clyde?
Roger: With who, Clyde?
Brandon: If you're talking about Roger's Skype girlfriend, that doesn't count.

For ten minutes we all debated on which of our exes hit on Clyde- up until now that pansie won't even answer.

Reece: Would you prefer an over confident/egotistical girl or a really shy one?

Clyde: The one with bigger boobs.
Dean: Oh so one of our exes who had bigger boobs hit on you then?
Roger: Maybe it's Brandon's girlfriends? They're always sluts.
Brandon: Wow thanks, Roger.

Reece: Try to answer the questions this time, okay? Is there any male celeb you would go gay for?

Clyde: He puts on a girls voice. OMG! JUSTIN BIEBER!
Dean: That's how Reece sounds when he's sick.
Roger: I wouldn't go gay but I think Nicholas fucking Cage is the man.
Brandon: Fucking pedo bear, bitch.

Reece: I do not fucking sound like a girl. Anyway, have you ever been depressed over a girl?

Clyde: Once I was depressed then I noticed she had a twin sister and I was like HALLELUJAH!
Dean: Wait, my ex girlfriend had a twin! She hit on you?
Roger: Uhhh Clyde was depressed when the Hanna Montana lookalike broke up with him.
Brandon: Yeah and then Clyde wanted to get the limo out front, OOO WA WOO.

Reece: Brandon don't ever sing again. Alright other than Clyde wanting the best of both worlds, what's the best revenge you had ever taken on your ex?

Clyde: Slept with her best friend.
Dean: Really, Clyde? You slept with Lilly from Hanna Montana?
Roger: I can always taste it, that dream I'm dreaming of! It's the climmmmmmmmb. At this moment Clyde threw his bag on Rogers face.
Brandon: Clyde stop throwing your purse at people, jeez.

Reece: Okay, enough with Clyde! What's better, personality or looks?

Clyde: Personality. Hot girls with constant headaches are annoying to hump.
Dean: Wow, that's surprising from Clyde.
Roger: Vajayjay, always look for the vajayjay.
Brandon: A bit of both with a touch of vag.

Reece: Okay, please offer some advice for this dude and be serious about it!

See I love this girl she's on this website and were best friends in real, but she is really hot and beautiful everyone says she should be a Goddess and just a few weeks ago she made 8 gay guys straight by walking past. So the chances of us together could be really low and if I ask her im afraid of her laughing at me or worse humiliate me! I really love this girl and she is so oblivious to her beauty and is not clingy at all! What should I do ask her out? Or leave it?

Clyde: Ah you, my friend have experienced the Isabelle Effect.

Definition of the Isabelle Effect: Isabelle is a girl that all guys of HowBoysThink knew. She was so fucking hot that any guy within a freaking 10 mile radius will want to hump her until she turns to dust. Anyway, guys who went out with this Isabelle turned into complete insecure assholes. Never, I repeat, never in Merlin's beard ever date a girl who has the Isabelle Effect.

Dean: Never date the Isabelle, dude. Never date it.
Roger: Go for it, every guy has a chance to experience the Isabelle Effect.
Brandon: Just ask her, if she says no then just put on the "Clyde Act" and pretend you don't give a fuck.

Reece: Not a bad answer, guys. What's the one thing all girls should know when it comes to break ups?

Clyde: Always, and I can't stress how important this is, always have break up sex.
Dean: Clyde we need to take you to a humping facility to make sure your penaynay isn't going to shrivel up in the next year.
Roger: That would be entertaining to see.
Brandon: Why the fuck would you even want to see that?

Reece: Well other than Roger secretly yearning to see Clyde's penaynay, is there any question you would like the readers to answer?

Clyde: Would you hump me if I say I'm hot, sexy and single?
Dean: What's the difference between a "hot guy" and a "cute" guy? What the fuck, aren't they all the same?
Roger: Would you go out with me on Skype?
Brandon: Do you think I should be the one to answer these questions first? Answering last sucks balls.

Reece: I think I'm done with the questions today! Any last words?

Clyde: Go tap your chicken.
Dean: Your voice is going to even give Barney nightmares.
Roger: I've been holding my urine for like an hour.
Brandon: Who the fuck says "urine" nowadays


And that's it! Hope you enjoyed!

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