Chapter 5: Random Things We Think of

73.9K 3.5K 3.7K

Chapter 5: Random Things We Think of

Yo yo yo, this is the 5th installment and today we decided to talk about random shit because I'm sure you all are tired about the relationship talk... especially Roger. Speaking of which, are any of you single and looking for a nerd who lives on Skype and dies for tea?

Oh and just off note, I will not be answering questions because I'm the interviewer and the interviewer never answers, so unfortunately you can just consider me this sexy, mysterious guy who you'll never know about. We'll just go with that.

Thanks for the users who submitted questions!


Reece: Chapter 5! You ready?

Clyde: My balls are.
Dean: I just ate a hamburger now and you really felt the need to mention the word balls?
Roger: I'm a little teapot short and stout, here is my handle, and here is my spout.
Brandon: Why the fuck do I have to answer after Roger?

Reece: Alright, I sense a rather random set of answers from you lot today so I'm going to jump to it, would you date a MILF?

Definition of Milf: Mother I like to F**k. Basically it is a rather hot "wominz" who you would like to bang until another child pops out her like a candy machine.

Clyde: I banged Reece's mom last summer.
Dean: I don't like kids. Once I gave this kid a popsicle and he screamed and ran away.
Roger: Why are you giving kids popsicles? Grown up's don't do shit like that.
Brandon: Once a kid bit my toe... it was a fucking two year old with freaking fans. Hey, why are we even talking about kids?

Reece: Fuck you Clyde! Okay next question, what makes a girl beautiful?

Clyde: Her titties.
Dean: A girl without a vagina is like a rose with it's... uhm... petals? Yeah. Petals.
Roger: What in the name of fucking Macdonald's was that, Dean?
Brandon: Hey if a girl doesn't have a vagina is she still a girl?

We then argued for like 20 fucking minutes about whether a girl is still a girl without a vagina. After we settled down, I continued.

Reece: If you like a girl, do you consider a girl's whore factor?

Definition of the Whore Factor: Every guy has used it before. The Whore Factor is a basic scale ranging from 1 to 10. A normal girl has a whore factor of 5. A slut would have a whore factor of ten which basically means that you should stay away from her because she has a vagina disease. A girl who fucking likes pink bunnies and the shitty Carebears would be a whore factor of 1.

Clyde: The highest factor I humped was an 8. It was a good 8. She even complimented my di- This comment was removed to prevent readers from receiving vial images in their heads.
Dean: I always consider her whore factor! Who wants a girl with a vag disease?
Roger: How come we never hear of a Penaynay disease yet?
Brandon: Maybe because it's only getting transmitted during Skype, Roger.

Reece: Woah, Rog just got owned! Okay what was your most embarrassing moment?

Clyde: Once this hot girl was waving and I waved back and winked like a fucking moron only to see that she was waving at her retarded friend behind her, stupid hoe.
Dean: Dude, Clyde's getting emotional! Once I killed a girl's pet caterpillar, that shit was climbing on my shoulder and I went ninja on it.
Roger: My mom caught me tapping my chicken.
Brandon: Once my ex girlfriend- wait what did Roger just say?

Reece: Huh? Yo, are you telling the truth?

Clyde: Who me?
Dean: No you dipshit, he's asking Roger!
Roger: Well we are supposed to answer honestly aren't we?
Brandon: Dude, not that honest. You keep that shit to yourself.

After this there was five minutes of laughter with responses like "You're a dickhead, did you tape it over Skype, How can you tap a lil chicky?"

Reece: Alright guys, enough picking on Roger! What's the most stupid thing a girl has ever said to you?

Clyde: "Omg! Clyde is gay!" The day after I slept with her.
Dean: "I'm a vegetarian except I eat chicken."
Roger: "Oh my gawd, like why is your web camera all black?" After I told her twelve fucking times my webcam was broken.
Brandon: "I don't know why people think I'm a slut!" After I picked her up from a club with half her boob hanging out.

Reece: Jeez, where do you guys find these girls. What kind of hair do you like a girl to have, straight, wavy, curly?

Clyde: The hair on her head, or elsewhere? If you know what I mean.
Dean: I don't even think any girl would want to know what you mean, Clyde.
Roger: Straight hair, it shouldn't cover her titties though. Nothing should cover titties. Not even a bra.
Brandon: I weirdly agree with Roger on this one.

Reece: You people are so fucking picky.

Clyde: You're mom likes picking me, Reece.
Dean: Why are you having a problem? You act like a vagina, not answering any questions yourself!
Roger: Yeah, Reece! Remember those walls you built, cos baby they're tumbling down!
Brandon: I'm going to slap you with a loaf of bread if you quote anymore Beyonce songs, Roger.

Reece: Which storybook/cartoon character turns you on the most? 

Clyde: Kim Possible. I'd tap her and her blonde hair, she needs some boobies though.
Dean: Dora the Explorer's older sister... Flora the Penaynay Explorer.
Roger: That squirrel bitch from Spongebob Squarepants.
Brandon: Dude, who the fuck calls a Spongebob Character a bitch?

Reece: What is the one, single food that you would never give up?

Clyde: Starts with a V and ends with a "agina".
Dean: I think I just threw up.
Roger: Why Dean, you scared of vaggies?
Brandon: Reece is a vagina, do you like eating him too?

Reece: Would you idiots stop targeting me! Okay, last question. Would you strip for money?

Clyde: Uh I strip for free so duh.
Dean: EWW! What if someone hates you and chops off your penaynay while you're in action?
Roger: Why would anybody in their right minds do that, Dean?
Brandon: How the fuck did we get from stipping to chopping of penises?


And we are done! This one was a really random one, but I thought it was our best one yet considering this is how we actually talk all the time.

Thanks for the votes/comments/fans! The guys are getting hyped up about it!

Enjoy your day and always wear a condom... or a plastic bag from the supermarket.


How Boys ThinkWhere stories live. Discover now