19 Years Younger (Mature Content) [Complete]

Chapter 18 - Jason

"Why did you do this to yourself?"

He sighed, "I did this for you."

"What?" I exclaimed, "For me?"

"Yes for you!" I shouted, "So you wouldn't have to put up with me anymore!"

I simply pulled his lips onto mine. This stupid stupid boy thought that I tolerated him? I fucking loved Bradley with all of my being and he thought that I was tolerating him, for what? I pulled my lips firmer onto his and slowly parted his lips with my tongue. I then remembered that he had only just awoken, so I pulled away.

"You really think I put up with you?" I breathed, "You are my world Bradley. I have slept on that sofa for weeks, just waiting for you to even momentarily break from you coma just so I could see you as you again and not as a body in a bed. I love you!"

"I love you too Jason but..."

"No Bradley!" I shouted, "there are no buts! I have spent hours upon hours wondering why oh why you did this to yourself. Why you would hurt yourself, and by doing so, hurt your mother, my parents, Aurora, ME! Then you wake up to tell me that you think that I think you are a burden? You are my universe so why the fuck would I think you were a burden?"

"Jason! Don't hate me!" He pleaded.

I calmed down, seeing the hurt in his eyes, "I don't hate you. I'm just angry that I've made you think that I thought you were a burden. What kind of husband must I be to make you think that?"

"Did you just say husband?" Bradley asked, confused.

I sighed, "Well future husband anyway. I know we can't get married yet but..." I pulled out a plain silver ring from my pocket, "I got you a promise ring. My promise to marry you."

"You damn bastard!" Brad cursed.

"Too soon?" I asked timidly.

"No no no!" Bradley replied hastily, "it's just that you stole my thunder! I meant to put this with the note.."

He pressed a cool metal ring in my hand. I slide his ring from me on his hand before looking at the ring he had given me. I sunk back slowly into that chair next to the bed. I was afraid of fainting.

"I...I....I can't...can't accept this!" I breathed, "This belonged to Jack.... I..."

"I want you to have it!" Bradley insisted, "I love you!"

****

I woke up and sat up in bed. I stared at the ring in the moonlight to make absolutely sure that it was still there. I had been having that memory replaying in my sleep ever since Bradley had come home to live with us. My room now was littered with boxes that were Bradley's last few belongings. His stuff had been moved in soon after he was brought home. I glanced over at Bradley who was snoring softly, luckily oblivious to my sudden awakening. I leaned over him and kissed his forehead with the lightest touch I could. Bradley sighed and moved slightly underneath me. I smiled at him. He really was my light in dark days.

I got up and headed downstairs to the kitchen. The only light I turned on was the dim spotlights under that cupboards that where used to find objects on the floor. I could walk around this house blindfolded, as I had many times, so lights were useless to me. I filled a glass with water and slowly drank from it as I looked out into the garden. I then felt two arms encircle me and someone kissing my neck.

"Why are you up?" Came Bradley's voice.

I sighed and slowly picked up his scared wrist, "I had the memory again."

I slowly planted my lips on his wrist over the ugly scars he had inflicted upon himself. Such perfect skin should never bear such an ugly mark. I desperately wanted his skin to heal so that we would never see these again, but I knew that even though now physical scars wouldn't remain, the psychological ones would.

"Don't ever leave me again!" I murmured.

"You know I can't promise that..." Bradley sighed, "Just as you can't promise not to ever be late for school or work. But I can promise you this, I will always say goodbye before I go."

"Somehow, that's not reassuring," I replied.

Brad laughed, "I know, but it's the best I can offer."

I smiled, "I still can't believe you gave me Jack's ring!"

"Why not?" He asked, "You are the only one I love!"

I slowly brought my lips down onto his and kissed the sweet heaven that I was lucky enough to call my boyfriend. His hands ran gently through my hair and my own looped around him, pulling him closer to me. Pulling his body to mine. Making us one.

"And I love you!" I breathed before I was pulled back into our kiss.

"I. Know," he murmured.

We slowly pulled away, "Why are you up?" I asked Bradley.

"Because you weren't there," was his reply, "I missed you."

I smiled, "I know."

"I'm sorry," Bradley whispered.

"Sorry for whatever?" I asked.

"Putting you though hell," he replied, "I realise now that I was being selfish and that you were right."

"Right about what?" I pressed.

"I thought that by living I was ruining people's lives," Bradley told me, "it turns out that if I ... If I... You know... I would be ruining their lives. My mother would be completely alone....how could I be so selfish."

I kissed his lips lightly again, "No one is angry at you! We are angry at ourselves for making you think that we thought you were a burden. We are angry at ourselves for pushing you away and making you think you couldn't talk to us."

"But you didn't!" Bradley insisted, "I did it to myself."

"I love you regardless!" I replied.

My lips pressed firmly onto his as I embraced him in a full passionate kiss. Our hands scraping wildly though each other's hair as we slowly backed out the kitchen and towards the stairs. I had no idea how, but we climbed them together as one without breaking away. We crashed onto the bed as one. I pulled off him.

"What's wrong?" He asked, panting.

"No! You aren't ready. Your aren't yourself!" I replied.

"What are you..."

"You told me you wanted to wait to have sex and so we are," I replied, "you are vulnerable and emotional right now and so I'm not gonna do anything you normally wouldn't wanna do!"

"And why do you get to decide what I do and don't want to do?" He spat.

"Brad..."

"Don't Brad me! If you don't want to then don't blame me!" He hissed.

"Bradley!" I thundered, "Every since we started this relationship you have wanted to go slow. So that's what we are doing. You haven't wanted to have sex since we started going out so I am not going to ruin what should be a special moment because you are angry at yourself and therefore emotional."

He angrily rolled over facing away from me. He sighed loudly as he did so and I noticed his jaw tighten as it always did when he knew he was in the wrong. Our relationship was meant to go slow because that was the way he wanted it. We had only get started doing a small amount of foreplay let alone full on sex. For now, I knew he was angry, but tomorrow I knew he would thank me for not buckling.

"Love you Brad!" I murmured into the night.

I received no reply.