w r e c k a g e ✓

the wreckage of his grades

⠀⠀❝He's so stupid! I took a glance at his test and saw he got an F! The percentage wasn't even past thirty!❞

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SINCE HE WAS in kindergarten and all the way up to high school he was defined by his grades. He got an F, that F automatically defined him as stupid.

The grades a person has defines them. That's how society works. If he failed his classes he was labeled as a failure, if he were to pass them with flying colors then he would be labeled as successful, or smart. Of course he wasn't successful or smart.

He knew his teachers thought so too. He could hear them whisper about him from behind their desk. They ask him if he knew the material at all. They told him to be honest.

He replies back with a no.

They scold him and ask why he can't understand stuff that is so easy. They always pester and question him as to why he never asks for help when why would he ask people who make him seem stupid for help? They ask for the honest truth and he gives them just that, yet apparently that's not enough.

He was defined by his grades.

He wouldn't get into his dream university. He wouldn't make it past twelfth grade. He wouldn't become successful.

Everyone told him that. Everyone thought that too. He pretended that he knew what he was doing just because he was too embarrassed to speak up. He sucked at school. He sucked at all of the subjects in which he took. He sucked at being smart.

Why couldn't he be smart?

He looks at the material and all he sees is black and white. He looks around, and he hears whispers. He hears people laughing. Laughing at him.

He's so dumb!

He's so slow!

His medication wouldn't help him get smarter. The therapy wouldn't help him get smarter. He was a hopeless cause. No use. In all honesty he didn't want to live, because it had become apparent that he wasn't going to get anywhere. He was tired, lost, confused, and everything in between.

He didn't understand why he couldn't live life without bad things happening to him. He didn't understand why he couldn't just look at a question and see it in the most simplest way. No. Instead he saw gibberish.

He was defined by his grades.