w r e c k a g e ✓

the wreckage of her system

❝It's so bad that I have to pinch my nose around her. She smells of pure liquor.❞

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IT WAS THE only thing that could distract her from the past. She knew that what she was doing was hurtful, and she was sorry, but she just couldn't help it. She blamed herself for everything, of course she should. It was all stupid, really.

He used to be her coffee. What kept her up at night. What got her through the day. What she looked forward to every morning. Now all that kept her up at night and all that she looked forward to in the morning was the full bottle of tequila in her dad's whine cellar.

Instead of him holding her in his arms she held the bottle. Instead of talking about absolutely nothing with him she talked to the bottle. The bottle. She pretended the bottle was him.

Yet she made herself think that she was beginning to forget about him more and more each day and she couldn't have been any more happier. Except for when she was sober. Those times were the times of hell. Absolute hell.

People talked about her, oh yes she knew. In all honesty she didn't care at all. She had a good old potion for forgetting at home waiting for her. A potion that caused her quite the hangover, but less of heart break.

The burning of the alcohol on her lips helped her get the burning from when his lips touched her own out of her head.

She took a swig of the cold beer in her hand and danced around her room. She enjoyed the feeling of the soft carpet underneath her toes. She shook her head from side to side and laughed wildly.

I'm forgetting.

I'm forgetting.

I'm forgetting.

She wasn't forgetting though. Her mind may have been wiring her senses to make her believe she was forgetting, but she wasn't truly forgetting anything. Because once the alcohol wares off she'll remember everything. She'll pretend she doesn't, and then she'll go right back to drinking. She would never stop until the memories of him subside.

I'm forgetting.

I'm forgetting.

I'm forgetting.

The bottle was empty. She stopped her movements suddenly and pranced to her bed. She threw her body down and sighed dreamily. She fell asleep with the empty bottle wrapped in her arms. She pretended it was him.

I'm forgetting.

I'm forgetting.

I'm forgetting.