A Little Bit of Honey- OHSHC- Mitsukuni Haninozuka

Chapter Twelve: Why can't I go one day without you guys?

(A/N- by the way, I always leave a video link because I don't know how to paste a video in the chapters :/ I also only included half of 'an episode' here, because I just didn't feel the need to include the rest. This story isn't about Haruhi, after all.

Video:
Softness and Light- Brian Crain (pretend that Kozumi's coming up with the song, and it's her's, ok?







Kozumi's P.O.V.-







"If I do this, then.... no, no, that won't work. Maybe.... hmm.... if I put this note here, then make the pitch higher, then play these.... it sounds so.... sad, but happier than what it was before. Ok, so I'll keep that, then alternate here-" My train of thought was cut off by the sound of the door opening, signaling that Haruhi was home with the groceries. I put my unfinished piano piece back in it's hiding spot, and played a few stray high notes before going greet her.





.... I stopped, annoyed, when I saw the host club gathered around our small table, and Haruhi setting down some weird smelling tea. I didn't mind that Honey, Mori, and Kaoru were here, but I don't like the rest. So, I sat down by Honey, mumbling a hi, then going back to my thoughts on the piece I'm working on.






I wanted to say thank you to Haruhi, and Ranka, but I didn't have much money, so I figured if I can play the piano, why not just write a music piece for them? Music has always been there for me, and can always express what I can't, and I really think that it means a lot more than just noise, and they like it, so why not?





"Kozumi, Kozumi? Honey asked you what cake you wanted?" Haruhi said out of nowhere, bringing me back to reality quick enough to realize that everyone was staring at me. Honey looked worried, and so did she, so I quickly answered,






"I'm not really very hungry, but thank you for the offer." Honey looked at me, and scooted a little closer before offering me a bite of his shortcake. I shook my head, and he frowned, pushing it forward as though to say that he's not going to give up until I eat it. With that, I sighed, and opened my mouth, letting him feed me that one small bite, to satisfy him.






----






When everyone finished, and the twins and Tamaki were begging for lunch, he leaned closer to me, "Are you okay? Do you want to talk at all? You're paler than usual, and I'm worried." He grabbed one of my hands under the table, and flinched slightly. What's wrong with my hand? "Why are you so cold?"






"I'm not, it's okay, I'm fine, just a lot on my mind, and it doesn't help that I can't seem to go one normal day without the whole Host Club somehow popping up." I answered, getting up and flicking Tamaki on the forehead while he was acting like we were the dumbest, poorest people ever.






Who gives a paper to someone saying that a sushi pack with 'Premium' on it doesn't mean that it's fancy to a commoner? Even we would know that, idiot.






Then the topic of buying food somehow made it to my ears, and I sighed. Do they just have nothing else to do but bother us? "I wouldn't mind eating something that Haru-chan, or Kozu-chan made!"Honey said, causing me to start to pay more attention to the conversation.







As the twins and Tamaki started freaking out, Haruhi and I told Honey about how we would have to go to the store, and it would take awhile. As expected, everyone else wanted to go too... As the rest of them headed out the door, Haruhi went to get Tamaki, and I walked to the bathroom.






As I left the door partially cracked, not feeling the need to close it, I sat on top of the side of the tub, staring into the mirror. I've always hated what I saw, a fat, no good waste of space, that burdens everyone around her. I've started to eat less and less, but nothing's changed. I'm still the same, sad excuse of a person that I've always been... "You're beautiful, you know."







I sighed, turning to face Honey as he leaned against the door-frame, watching me intently. "That may be what you think now, but...." I stopped, knowing I couldn't tell him, not that. So I just shook my head, even as he walked to me and hugged me, repeating the same two words over and over in my ear.







You're beautiful.











No, Honey, I'm no where even close. Not to my family, or the people around me, not to strangers, or even myself.









So why are you so different?






Why do you keep trying, even when you know I'm just gonna burden you until you're stuck in the endless black hole with me?










What's the point?







Nothing good ever comes from being around me....









There's no point in even caring.










But I didn't say any of that, I just hugged him back, and tried to engrave the moment into my mind, so I won't ever forget it, and then we continued our day, together, dealing with the usual shenanigans of Idiot 1 (Tamaki), and Idiots 2 and 3 (The Twins), while most of their day revolved solely on Haruhi.









Where it should be.

(all scenes that may have come from the manga or anime do not belong to me, all rights go to Bisco Hatori, and Takuya Igarashi)