You Saved Me (LiLo family)

Chapter 21

"But you didn't."

"I almost did."

"You made the decision not to, you're not crazy Zayn, you're not an "emotion wreck", you were just upset and you didn't know how to control it, it happens to all of us, I once threw my mum's favorite Vase at a wall just because she wouldn't buy me new shoes as a teenager."

I laughed for the first time that day and looked at Papa who was also chuckling.

"See what I mean Zee? Everyone gets angry, we just need to find something to help release your anger. Wanna know what I did?"

"What?"

"My dad bought be a punching bag and boxing gloves since he used to box and coached me in the basement, I wasn't even good or doing it right half the time, but it helped me a lot, do you think that's something you wanna try?"

"Will dad agree to that?"

"He's a looser we don't need to tell him."

"Ok then I'll try it!" I said laughing.

"Awesome, we can try it out tomorrow, now I was thinking how about we do this talking thing two times a week, just me and you and we can walk around and just talk, it doesn't even have to be about what happened it can be about anything, just a time for you to talk about whatever you're thinking, sound good?"

"Yea thanks Papa."

"No problem Baby Boy, now let's head home, I think Daddy has dinner out."

I nodded and we made our way back home where Dad was finishing putting food on plates and Niall and Harry were sitting at the table. I took a seat in between Niall and Harry and Dad gave everyone their plates and then sat down next to Papa. Throughout dinner I could feel Niall and Harry looking at me and the cuts that were on my arm. I rolled down my sleeve and put my arm on my lap and continued to eat with my head down.

"So boys, me and Papa were thinking of going on another vacation in a couple of months."

"Really?" Haz asked.

"Yea we're gonna go to Cali!" Papa said.

I smiled slightly while Harry and Niall cheered, I'm guessing Cali is an exciting place but I don't want to embarrass myself like last time. When everyone was done with excitement we carried on with dinner but it just got more uncomfortable, every time I would pick up my knife to cut my chicken Niall and Harry's eyes would dart right to me and watch my every move. Do they really think I'm going to cut myself in front of them and with a butter knife? I was getting really frustrated, Dad and Papa went on like it was any normal dinner which I'm thankful for but Niall and Harry would not let up.

"I think I'm just gonna go upstairs." I said as I started to clear my plate.

"You haven't even finished eating." Dad said.

"Not hungry right now, I'll have it later."

I went upstairs to my room and turned on the TV and watched some stupid movie that I did not even know what was going on. I gave up on the movie and was browsing through channels when I heard a knock.

"Come in."

The door opened and Dad walked in with my dinner that I never finished and he put it on my desk.

"I brought your dinner, you doing okay?"

"Thanks." I said ignoring the second part.

"What happened, you were so happy after your chat with Papa, what's got you in a funk?"

Dad laid next to me on the bed and wrapped his arms around me.

"Niall and Harry, I know they don't mean too but all throughout dinner they were just being so careful with me, I could feel them looking at the cuts too, every time I moved they looked over like they were trying to make sure I wasn't hurting myself."

"You know that they're just worried about you and want to make sure you're okay."

"I know, and I'm so thankful for that, it just sucks that everyone is looking at me differently."

"No one thinks of you any differently, they love you so much and just want to make sure you're okay, but I will talk to them okay?"

"Thank you."

"No problem baby, now I will leave you to finish your dinner!"

He kissed my head and was then out the door, and I made my way over to my desk to finish the dinner that was probably cold by now.