You Saved Me (LiLo family)

Chapter 21

Zayn's POV

I'm was still sitting next to dad when my phone beeped and I looked down to see I got yet another text from Carson. I sighed and dad looked over at me obviously confused. I opened my conversation with Carson and handed him the phone letting him read for himself.

"Zee, why didn't you tell us this was happening, this is not okay." Dad said once he finished reading.

I just shrugged and looked at my hands.

"Bubba please don't stop talking to us again, we both don't want to have to go through that again."

He pulled me onto his lap and I dug my face in his chest.

"Can you please make him stop, I can't take it anymore."

A tear fell down my face and Dad held me closer and I started crying again, just remembering everything was enough to make me cry.

"It's okay, this won't be happening again, we're going to block his number, and I'm going to send pictures of this conversation to his mother, and he will not be bothering you any time soon. You're gonna be okay bub, yea?"

I sniffled and nodded and Dad wiped the tears from my face with his thumb.

"How about you go talk with Papa yea? He just texted me that he's waiting for you outside."

I nodded and hugged dad before walking outside to greet Papa who was sitting in a chair on the porch.

"Hey bub you feeling a bit better?"

"Yea"

"How about we go for a walk and talk for a bit, yea?"

I nodded and he came over and grabbed my hand and we went out the back gate and started walking around the neighborhood. It was silent for a little bit at first but then Papa started talking.

"So how about you tell me how you're really feeling, just between me and you I promise."

"Tired."

"Like sleepy tired?"

"No, just tired, of everything going wrong, bad things have just been happening over and over to me and I'm just numb of it now, I'm just waiting for it to end, but I don't think it will."

"It's hard I know, but now that you told us what's going on its going to end, I promise, now tell what happened that made you decide you were going to cut."

"When he texted me to kill myself, I was going to, but then I thought about it and I didn't want to die I just wanted to take the pain away for a little bit so I did."

"Zee do you realize that if you had cut too deep by accident or if that razor had a little rust on it we would be in a much bigger situation than we are now."

"Now I do."

"Well tell me what you usually do when you're upset."

"I draw."

"Why didn't you draw instead."

"I can't draw when I'm tense like that, I felt dangerous."

"Why do you think you felt dangerous?"

"I'm not used to having the power like I did then, I could of ended it right there if I wanted to."