DOUBLE TAKE

Chapter 17

How the hell does a broken heart get back together when it's torn apart?

Teach itself to start beating again?

Christina Perri's Bluebird

***

Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye my love

I can't hide, can't hide, can't hide what has come

I have to go

I have to go

I have to go

And leave you alone

But always know

Always know

Always know that I love you so

I love you so

I love you so, oh

Goodbye brown eyes

Goodbye for now

Goodbye sunshine

Take care of yourself

Avril Lavine's Goodbye

Christina Perii's Bluebird and Avril Lavine's Goodbye, played back to back on the radio as Deeks drove them to the airstrip Hetty had advised them to meet, for their flight to Dallas. Kensi shut the radio off in the car, creating an uneasy silence. Of all the songs to play, it had to be them. Tears poured down her cheeks again, but this time she didn't bother to wipe them away. The air through the vents cooled her body as it hit her tears, causing her to shiver.

Deeks placed his hand on her arm to give her warmth and comfort, as they stopped at a set of red lights. He turned to her and tried hard to give her a smile, she tried hard to return it. 'I'm crap at this,' thought Deeks. For a man who always found it easy to talk his way out of anything, he found it an uphill battle to find the right words of comfort for his partner. The lights turned green and the silence grew as they continued their drive, all the while Deeks was thinking of the right words.

"I'm sorry, Kensi," he finally said. He decided to keep it simple, and say how he felt. He could feel her eyes baring down on him, but silence remained from her mouth.

She was struggling, that was the truth. At long last she found an amazing guy who treated her like a lady, and not one of the guys. Then she lost him, after only nearly five weeks of spending almost every minute with him. It was like neither of them could get enough of each other, as if they were a drug to the other. Too many men in her life had either died or left. Either way, she felt like she just wasn't good enough for them to live for, or stay. She had decided to only have first dates from then on, but then she met Kevin, and she let her defences down. She was mad at herself for falling hard for him, because now he too had left her and died. She fought hard for him to live, as she knelt down beside his bleeding body, willing him that they were worth living for. She shook her head as she shook with emotion. Damn him, she thought. She tucked her knees up to her chest as Deeks pulled into the airport car park. Going back to Dallas where she had wonderful memories with Kevin was going to hurt like hell. It was less than twelve hours, and she missed him terribly.