Shucked Up || Newtmas AU

31☂ hope

-a/n-
sadness warning, mentions sensitive topics

A month or two

______
Newt
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I've failed.
Again.

It wasn't supposed to be like this.
I'm not supposed to be here.
I had it all planned, every detail.

Can't anybody tell that I'm happier dead?

A sudden dark feeling of guilt washes over me, at what I've done.

The familiar hospital smell floods my senses- at least it was a decent attempt, I was hospitalised.
Wincing, I can feel the tubes shift on my body when I take a breathe. Each sense seems to be coming back to be steadily...

The first sound I hear is a few sobs, on my right. A hand intertwined unknowingly with my own begins to pull itself away.

Without thinking it through, I snatch out and grab the hand back, with my eyes still firmly closed.

"Newt?"
A voice whispers, in pure shock.

Tommy.
He came to visit me.

The guilt inside me begins to grow as I begin to imagine the tragic and helpless pain Thomas must be feeling right now.

He knows I chose to die than stay alive with him.
He shouldn't forgive me for this. I don't deserve a boyfriend like him.

"Newt? Can you hear me? I'll go and get the nurse." Thomas splutters, squeezing my hand before letting it go.

"Don't leave me."
I mumble, my voice hoarse while I struggle to lift up my right arm to signal Thomas back to me.

"Oh, baby. I'm not the one who tried to leave." He cries yet not an ounce of bitterness in his voice.

Kneeling beside me, I can't help but crack a grin across my face as Thomas tucks a strand of hair behind my ear, cupping my chin with his hand.
We kiss softly for a moment, all the emotions suddenly running through my veins.

"I missed you Newt." Thomas whispers, leaning in closer beside me, his voice sad yet he can't stop the exciting smile across his face.

"I know." I sigh, gazing into his glassy eyes, running my weak hand through his short hair.

Once Thomas had gone for a moment, he came back with a nurse and Doctor Paige.

"Newt!" Doctor Paige exclaimed, rushing to my side.
"I'm so happy you're okay," she smiles, however contrasts with her sad looking eyes.

The nurse, who I guess must have been looking after me all this time, scans her eyes cautiously across all the various beeping machines surrounding me.
"Good to see you awake, Newt" she nods, "I'll bring your lunch tray through in a moment.".
With that she then slips out the room, leaving me with Thomas and Doctor Paige.

"I'll leave you two for a bit to catch up." Doctor Paige smiles, about to leave.
"Wait! Sorry, Newt, but we do need to have an important chat once you've spent some time with Thomas." She emphasises, yet she can't seem to look me in the eyes as she says it.

Her actions are slightly worrying however I just push my concerns to the back of my mind, besides, I'm with Tommy now.

"Newt? Can I ask you something?" Thomas asks, sounding uneasy.