Shucked Up || Newtmas AU

22☂ rain

my internal monologue is saturated analog it's scratched and drifting I've become attached to the idea it's all a shifting dream
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Thomas
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It's been a few days since I was allowed to see Newt again. I'm allowed to see him everyday now, which makes me extremely happy.
My daily programme isn't much different from before, but instead of the group classes, I have private ones, private lessons and private therapy.

The worst part is that I still have to eat and sleep in the isolation cell, Doctor Paige says it's too soon to put me back to the normal groups as the others might try and hurt me.
Newt's allowed to come in my cell, at meals times and free periods. He says he doesn't have anyone else to sit with so he may as well stay with me.

Part of me doesn't want him to spend all his time with me in that stupid cell. He could be doing much better things than sitting around in a white box with his criminally insane boyfriend.

"Boo."

I jump at the sound, once I look behind me I see it's Teresa, trying to scare me.
I guess isolation isn't that bad when you've got someone who's always in your head, right?

I mean, she's being less of a stuck up slinthead now, which actually makes her just about tolerable.
Even thought I saw her kill Newt. But she didn't actually. Apparently I was just seeing things. Anyway, it's been a month so I've forgiven her now.

"Did I scare you, Tom?" She cackles, slumping down into the corner.

"No." I mutter, rolling my eyes.

Newt doesn't look up at me breaking the silence. He understands what's going on.
I love him so much, he understands.

"I'll get you next time." Teresa sighs heavily, smoothing out the creases in her black dress.
"Keep telling yourself that."
I mumble, shovelling spoonful of cornflakes into my mouth.

It's unusually quiet today. Newt's not himself.
I mean, he's not exactly loud on a normal day, yet today, the atmosphere seems different. A lot colder, and uneasy.

Glancing up at him, I see he's barely touched his breakfast. The spoon lies neatly on the floor beside the full bowl. He sits with his knees tucked into his chest, hugging them tightly.
It pains me to see that he doesn't look much better than a few days ago when he was high.

He promised.

He promised he'd stop using.

He's kept that promise, I'm sure.

I hope.

His eyes still haven't caught mine, they focus on the harsh floor instead.

"Newt?" I ask, expecting no reply.

"What, Tommy?" Newt slowly meets my eyes, his feelings are impossibly to tell through his voice or facial expression.
It's all blank.

Like he's numb.

"What's the matter?" I whine, moving to his side and wrapping my arms around him.

"Nothing, Tommy. It's fine." He brushes it off, yet not pushing me away.

"It's not fine, though. Don't lie to me, Newt." I sigh, moving away from him a little bit.

"I don't." Newt stammers, "I don't want to tell the truth, because it hurts.", he takes a deep breathe, before taking my hands in his and looking me in the eyes.

"I'm not going to hurt you, Tommy."

It's hurt even more if he doesn't tell me! I won't admit that to him, I don't want him to carry that guilt.