TenxRose One-Shots

I Desperately Need You

I can finally see,

That you're right there beside me,
I am not my own,
For I have been made new
Please don't let me go,
I desperately need you

I am not my own,
For I have been made new
Please don't let me go,
I desperately need you

-Owl City

He'd been pacing for what felt like a year and a half.  Of course, it pretty much had been.  He'd lost Rose ages ago, and had Martha and Donna on board, and shouldn't that have made him happy beyond words?  He loved travelling with people, he always had, but it wasn't the same.  It wasn't her lilting voice singing as she made tea or her giggle when he said something that she found funny.

He missed her, still.

And that's why he'd been in the library, worrying his current companions sick, poring over every book he could find, looking for something that could help him and bring her back to him.  Finally, Donna had had about enough and entered the library, carrying a tray with a full meal on it.  

He looked awful, all rumpled suit and disheveled hair, not artfully messy, but just plain greasy and unkept.  He looked up and gave Donna a bleak smile when she arrived.  "Hello, Donna!" He said, beaming, his voice not matching his expression.  "Did you bring dinner?  That's lovely, where's Martha?"

"Martha's asleep, Doctor, it's midnight, Earth time," Donna told him gently, sensing that her usual sass would not do just now.  He needed a gentle touch, and even Martha was getting frustrated enough with the Doctor's moping that she wouldn't be much help.

The Doctor's face immediately fell.  "I lost track of time," he whispered.

Donna felt her heart lurch.  The Doctor didn't lose track of time, that was the one thing he could be counted on for.  She set his dinner, a sandwich and a bowl of fruit, on the coffee table in front of him and sat down next to him.  "What are you doing?" she asked.

He pulled his glasses off and threw them next to the tray before running his hands through his hair.  "I'm trying to get her back."

It didn't take a genius to figure out what he meant, and Donna felt an odd motherly instinct kick in at the very thought.  She closed her eyes.  "Doctor," she started gently, "You've been trying for years, haven't you?  In between having me and Martha, you were gone for ages, and-"

"I know," he cut her off.  "I know what the books say, they say it's impossible, but she was impossible all on her own, wasn't she?  I tried to forget about her, to brush it off and move on like I did with everything else, but I can't."

Donna patted his arm fondly.  "It strikes me that you might be a bit obsessed."

He was quiet for a few moments, as though not knowing quite what to say to that.  Deep down he knew it was true, he was obsessed with Rose, the idea of getting her back, of her needing him as much as he needed her.  He pursed his lips and turned away from Donna, unable to look her in the face.

"I love her," he whispered.

Donna blinked.  "Still?" She asked before she could stop herself.  

He nodded.  "Yeah."

"Well... Get something to eat, maybe you'll find something," Donna pulled him into a hug from the side before getting up from the couch and leaving him to his dinner and books.  He needed her, Donna knew that, and she hoped he would find her.

********************

The Doctor had been laying in bed for an hour, unable to sleep.  "Pencil in a mug," he said softly into the darkness.  "Can't you call her back?" He pleaded with his ship.  "Please, try.  Obviously you're a ship and I know you couldn't think of that yourself but come on, you loved her too.  Please."