The Feelings

Not Bothering to Crop it (10)

I didn't read the notes that were in that box, I only stuffed them back in where they came from. I slid the box under my bed and got dressed. I brushed my teeth and ruffled through my hair a bit.

I had setup a plan to get Robin to stay with me, it was to invite her over at my house and sadly that was it. I ran out my house with the calls of my mother beckoning me to eat breakfast but I ignored them. Robin was outside and tapped her black timberlands impatiently. "Finally, I thought you were sucking a dick or something", she stated

I rolled my eyes. "There is no other male in that house Rob", I replied. "You could be sucking your ow-", I cut her off. "How was your day today Robin", I asked eagerly trying to change the subject. She smiled but it seemed superficial. "It just began".

I felt sad that she felt the need to be fake around me, like she couldn't trust me. But then her expression changed into something dark. "Hey, um have you seen this box, it's like black, and-and it means a lot to me if you could find it, it holds a lot of things that-tha-".

"I'll sure keep an eye out for it", I quickly said. I sensed her discomfort. "P-please Ethan", she stuttered. She never stuttered. She had a strong voice that never trembled.

Robin

He doesn't think I'm that fucking dumb does he? I could see in his eyes that he knew where is was. Guilt was plastered on his face like a fucking ten foot sign. At least he felt guilty.

But I couldn't believe he stole something that was mine. Mine.

But I acted weak, it wasn't hard since much of the acting wasn't hard to channel since I am weak. My strength gets worn in more and more everyday, weakness was feeding off of it. I looked up at Ethan, he was biting his lips has we strolled towards the bus stop, half the time missing the bus.

I felt a little happy next to him. I felt okay, like everything would be okay. But now I felt like I couldn't trust him. I then felt someone crash into me. I grunted as my bottom hit the ground."ROBIN!!!", I heard someone scream. I opened my eyes that were closed with fright. I felt Leena's hair tickle me. "Ugh, Leena, you killed me", I said while crossing my hands over my chest and closing my eyes.

"Oh no, I feel so sad", I could hear the sarcasm flow through her voice. "Robin, are you okay", I heard Ethan ask with concern. "I'm just great", I grunted, like I always do. I picked myself up before anyone else could touch me. "Sorry Rob, if I really hurt you", she said with sadness.

I felt guilty that I made her feel guilty. "It's no problem, all I have is a few scratches from the gravel.", I said quickly. She nodded and we started our journey since I fell and that made us miss the bus.

We walked in silence. I kicked a pebble once or twice, waiting for someone to say something. To grab my shoulder and whirl me around say you're not okay.

Because I'm not okay. I'm not fine. But I try to help others like me. Even started a fucking support group, and saved some lives. I had confidential notes in that box. I had pictures that were not to be seen in that box. I had sad poems that I wrote that were in there.

That's it. I turned and stopped and put a hand on Ethan's bony chest. "Where is the box?", I asked with an angry tone. His eyes went wide. Fear was evident in them. "I know you have it". Leena looked up at him. And whispered something quickly to him.

"Stop thinking you two are sly, I KNOW SOMETHING IS UP", I yelled. They both took a step back. I was fuming. They took what was mine. And they're hiding something. They took it. The thought echoed through my mind.

I just fell to the ground and started crying. "Robin, I'm sorry", I heard Ethan say as he pulled me off the ground and hugged me. "I trusted you", I cried. I my tears fell on his chest. I heard his heartbeat. I loved Ethan. But it was a weakness and I should never reveal my weaknesses. His steady heartbeat calmed me down. These minutes felt shorter than usual. I savored Ethan's touch. It made me feel better.

Better.

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I'm sorry this chapter didn't really go anywhere but I'll try on the next one.

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