The Ugly Side of Beauty

Chapter Seven: Confession

“Aku suka kau.” I like you.

I jerked to a stop and I don’t know why, but I felt the urge to hide and peek. It was wrong, I knew, but I couldn’t exactly go now, especially when I saw that Chocolate was there. I watched as the Malay boy — a tanned, good-looking one by the way — looked right into Chocolate’s eyes as he confessed to her.

“Sudikah kau jadi teman wanita aku?” the guy continued. Chocolate’s eyes stared back into his unflinchingly.

“No.” she responded with finality. “I tak suka you.” I don’t like you. She kept her gaze on his, her expression unreadable. The atmosphere changed and became sharp, and Chocolate kept up her cruelty. Finally, the guy nodded and went off. I was about to leave then, but Chocolate’s bravado slipped and she slumped to the ground. The next thing I knew, I was already at her side.

“Are you okay?” I asked, and was surprised to find my voice filled with concern. Since when did my emotions leak into my voice?

Chocolate looked at me sharply. “You saw that?”

I blushed and looked down. I nodded. She looked away for a moment and then sighed. She sat down properly and leaned her back against the wall. There was a crushed expression on her face, filled with sorrow and pain.

“Are you okay?” I repeated, but none of my earlier emotion broke through again. I didn’t know whether to feel disappointed or relieved.

“I’m fine, or I will be.” She looked to the place where the guy had disappeared to. “But he won’t be for a while.”

“Then why did you turn him down?” I was truly puzzled. She looked at me like I’d just grown six more heads.

“I don’t like him in that way.” she responded slowly, as if that much should be obvious.

“Then why do you look like you’re the one who got rejected?” I retorted flatly. She looked really broken-hearted, like she was crying without tears.

“Because I feel guilty.” She whispered. “Wouldn’t you feel bad? When someone you barely knew liked you so much that they plucked up their courage, came to you and opened up their hearts, only to be told that that person didn’t like you back?” she pressed her fist to her forehead. “I would be crushed if I liked someone that way.” she fell silent for a while.

I sat back with her, trying and failing miserably not to feel ashamed to be breathing the same air that she did. I vaguely remembered the many guys who asked me out, and I ruthlessly laughed at them. My most common line was: “Who do you think you are? There’s no way in hell I’m going out with dirt like you.” My cheeks burned with resentment over the cruel creature I used to be.

And here Chocolate was, as sweet as her nickname, crushed over someone else’s rejection. I didn’t deserve to even lay eyes on someone like her.

A teacher’s voice blared over the school intercom. “Red house, please go to the long jump area. Blue house, please go to the short put area, Green house, please go to the…” you get the idea.

Chocolate sighed, sinking further into her strange depression. “I bet he thought he would make it special and become my boyfriend on sports day.”

I just kept my mouth shut. Today was the all-awaited, almighty sports day. There had been a thirty minute break between the competition, and I was just returning to the Red house area when I’d stumbled upon Chocolate’s love confession.

“Chocolate, listen.” I moved to kneel in front of her, making sure that she kept her tortured eyes on my face. “It’s not your fault. It may feel like it,” I added when she looked like she was about to argue. “But in fact, it’s not. You didn’t force him to fall for you, did you?” I looked at her seriously, as if she would actually do such a thing. She shook her head. “You didn’t force him to confess to you, did you?” another shake. “Then it’s his fault. He didn’t stop himself from liking you, and confessed to you, hoping you would say yes, even though you never gave any such indication.” She was listening very carefully now, the tortured look in her eyes all but gone.