The Ugly Side of Beauty

Chapter Six: Houses

I nodded. “Oh, okay.”

We entered our class and my eyes automatically went to Tom, who was talking to Cindy, trying to disentangle himself from her, as usual. A smile threatened to break across my face at the sight.

“Hi,” I greeted him. Nick turned around and looked at me with his too-piercing eyes. He seemed to be thinking about something.

“Hi,” I greeted him as well. Tom and Cindy smiled at me.

“Hey, there.” Tom greeted me back. His white teeth flashed and and I looked away quickly while my heart thumped painfully. His tan was brighter, as if he’d been in the sun a lot.

“Hi,” I replied awkwardly. My eyes inevitably ended up on Nick’s and I felt like I was being sucked into the endless depths. Heavens, there were hot guys everywhere—I was going to get a heart attack.

“Are you good in sports?” Nick asked quietly. I leaned my head to one side as I thought about it. Honestly, the only thing I was good at was modelling. Sports were a bit of a stretch for me. I shook my head.

“Oh, do you need practice?” Tom leaned on his elbows and faced me. “We can stay back after class to practice.” He offered. I bit my tongue, thinking about it. I really wanted to say yes, but I was afraid of spending time alone with Tom.

Chocolate barging in saved me from answering for the moment. Just as she stepped through the threshold, the bell rang and she blew a loud sigh of relief.

“I just made it.” She grinned at the teasing from our classmates. I noticed that there were new bruises on her knees and shins. That was another thing about Chocolate. She just walked and ran anywhere without looking where she was going. It wasn’t that she was a klutz, she just never watch where she went.

She went to dump her bag on her chair and came over to where we were huddle in our group discussion. “What’s up?” she climbed onto my table and sat cross-legged. My jaw dropped at her boldness. She was like a monkey.

“Chocolate! Get down from the table!” the girl who sat beside her called. She was Jessica our valedictorian, or class monitor, as they called it here. She was forever having problems with Chocolate. Chocolate sighed and got down, and then she pulled her chair over to my desk and sat with us.

“So, what’s up?” she grinned at us. Nick pointed to her legs.

“What’s up with you?” he asked back. I wasn’t the only one who noticed her bruises.

“Huh?” she looked down and probably noticed the bruises for the first time. “Oh! I accidentally walked into a door, a table leg and accidentally kicked some other things, I guess.” She threw her head back and laughed heartily. “My dad says I’m testing the durability of our furniture.”

I sighed and shook my head at her. Nick chortled at her and they started their squabbling again.

“Well, how about it?” Tom asked me after he managed to make peace between them.

“How about what?” Chocolate asked. She looked at me questioningly.

“Practice after school, for the sports event.” I informed her. She perked up, and then slouched.

“Ah, I can’t stay back. You do it.” She shrugged. Cikgu Amir came in after the second bell and she went back to her place. After school, everybody ended up unable to come, so only Tom and I were staying back.

I was seriously reconsidering.

“Hey, there you are. Come on, let’s go to the field.” He slung his bag over his shoulder and I followed after him.

After that, we were routinely practicing every day of that week. I had to put a pause on my study sessions with Dan, but he didn’t mind. It was a lot easier to be ugly while I toiled and sweated but it all seemed lost on Tom. He got better and better and helped me as well.

After a week, we were positive that I was hopeless in sports.

“I won’t give up if you don’t.” he laughed when he saw my lips turn down in depression. I still made sure that my glasses were big and cloudy so that no one could see my eyes. I sighed and leaned against a wall.

He took a few steps towards me until he was standing right in front of me, and his expression was uncharacteristically serious. I pressed back harder against the wall.

“I just want to know, do you hate me?” he asked, and he looked to the side with a serious face, as if he was unable to look me in the eye. Well, it’s not like he could see my eyes if he tried.

“No!” I was shocked. How did he come to that conclusion? If anything, I liked him too much. He blinked at the emotion in my voice. It was probably, what, the third time he heard any emotion in it?

“Then why do you always turn away from me?” he asked in an injured voice. My heart started beating really hard and I felt short of breath.

“Because…” I didn’t know what to say. I couldn’t tell him the truth, could I? “W-why does it matter?” I fished.

“It matters to me.” He looked at me. “I can’t help looking at you, and I don’t know why. When you smile, it feels so special. You’re always looking down, and I want to know why. But when you’re with me, you never really face me.”

I was stumped. This sounded dangerously close to a confession. He was watching me that much? My heart felt weird, like it was incredibly happy yet frantically panicked at the same time.

“I…” I couldn’t think of anything to say. I wanted to tell him the truth, but then I remembered my past, and a boyfriend was the last thing I needed. “I just don’t like feelings.” I blurted. Tom was quiet for a while. When I looked up, there was such an extremely sad smile on his face that my heart stopped. I hurt him. My heart felt like it was searing with slices of fire.

“I’m sorry.” I whispered. He just shook his head and put on a brave face which hurt me even more than his sad smile.

“Shall we continue?” we jumped back into it, and he chattered amiably so that it wasn’t awkward.

When I lay on my bed, staring blankly at the ceiling, Tom’s words floated in my mind again and I was so moved that tears sprung into my eyes. Suddenly, Dan’s face flashed into my mind and I sat up abruptly. Why was I thinking of Dan? And Nick’s smiling flashed into my mind. Argh! I was as indecisive as ever, but I knew one thing.

I would never forget Tom’s words.