The Ugly Side of Beauty

Chapter Five: System

“You have a really nice smile,” he informed me softly. “I wish I could see the rest of your face.”

My heart skipped a beat as I watched his hand reach out to me slowly, giving me time to turn away as he tucked a stray strand of hair behind my ear. He pointed to my huge glasses, his expression asking me for permission. I was having a hard time breathing with him so near me, but when his fingers curled around my glasses, my mind snapped to and both my hands flew up to hold my glasses in place.

“I… I can’t.” I whispered quietly, filled with chagrin. He retracted his hand instantly.

“It’s okay,” he smiled and stretched and I saw lean muscles ripple under his shirt. “Ah, do you want to take five?” he asked me innocently, as if he didn’t make my world explode just a few moments ago.

“Sure.” I was surprised that I felt so tired. Penang’s school system was that we stayed in the same class and the different subject teachers will come to our class instead. The only time when we left our classes was to go to the lab for Chemistry, Biology and Physics, or the field for our P.E. class or the canteen. What was worse was that the teachers gave homework like they exhaled carbon dioxide.

“So, how are you getting along with your classmates?” he asked. “Have anyone you like yet?” he grinned at me mischievously and I saw these adorable dimples.

“Um,” I couldn’t really answer the latter, so I answered the former. “I like Chocolate; she’s very funny and lively.”

Daniel nodded as if he expected that. “Who doesn’t like Chocolate?” he laughed. “Well, she’s only funny and lively when she’s awake.” He continued. “What about Jolene? You two must be really close for her to walk with you after school.”

For some reason, it galled me when he said her name. “She’s my first friend in this school.” I responded honestly. “Have you been in the same class as Chocolate before?” how else would he know she slept in class?

“Nope, never.” He shook his head. “Oh, you wanna know how I know she sleeps in class? Well, everybody knows it. Sometimes kids pass by and see, or the teachers use her as an example in other classes. Stuff like that, you know.”

“Example?” I echoed in confusion. Daniel chuckled, remembering something funny.

“She always scores highly in her exams and hands in her homework even though she sleeps in class, right?” he looked to me for confirmation and I nodded. “Well, whenever some kid wants to sleep in class, the teachers ask them to score like her first.”

“Ah, I see.” I understood now. “I wonder how she does it.” I couldn’t help thinking aloud.

“She doesn’t study at home, either.” He confided in me. “My friend who often goes to her house says that all she ever does at home is to eat and watch movies on the TV.”

“Is your friend Nick?” I wondered. His eyes widened.

“How do you know?” he asked me with an amazed look on his face.

“Just a hunch.” I replied. “I think he likes her.”

Daniel snorted. “Everyone knows he likes her. It’s totally obvious, except Chocolate is totally uninterested in ‘love’ and ‘relationships’, so she would never see it.” He shook his head sadly. “I pity the dude.”

I nodded heartily in agreement.

“Well, let’s get back to it, shall we?” He patted the books in front of me and smiled. I poured myself into the lesson and knew that my feelings for Daniel grew. Sometimes I noticed him looking at me with a gentle look on his face and my heart always skipped, wondering what it meant.

Within two months of schooling in Penang, I had quickly mastered Malay and could understand what people said even though I still wasn’t very fluently orally. There were loads of words that were transitioned from English and that made it easier. For example, discrimination was diskriminasi in BM. Dan, as I now called him, had asked if I still wanted to have our study group with just the two of us to discuss any subjects and I said yes before the offer fully formed in my head.

On Valentines’ Day, nothing much happened. They weren’t so into it as we were, I guess. Only the couples went on special dates and the singles went out to karaoke together. I declined Chocolate’s offer go to with some classmates because she wouldn’t be going. I was growing really fond of Chocolate.

On the Wednesday of the last week of February, Cikgu Amir announced that the first test was coming up and it would cover every subject we had learnt for the past two months. I thought that the teachers would become demons when it was nearer to the tests, but they didn’t give us any homework and let us do self-study instead.

Chocolate flew into panic mode when she realised that she knew absolutely nothing and spent every second flipping through her textbooks and making notes for one week before the tests. When I went to her table to check on her, I realised that she had made much more progress than me in a day than I had for two months. We ended up having group studies in class and ignored the teachers when they tried to teach but they didn’t seem to mind.

I guessed that Chocolate was the type who was only able to study on her own, and only when she put effort into it.

We received the test schedule and I saw that it was two subjects a day for two weeks. Some of the students had taken extra subjects. Chocolate and two other guys had taken English Lit as an extra subject, about half the class took Accounts as an extra subject and five of them took Visual Arts as extra subjects. I had nine of the mandatory science stream subjects.

This school’s system was that there were three streams. The first stream, the ‘glam’ or most respected stream was the science stream, then it was the Accounts stream and last and least, the Arts stream. The science stream’s subjects were English, Modern Maths, Add Maths, BM, History, Moral Studies, Chemistry, Physics and Biology.

We had a short, two week holiday after the tests. I delved into the excitement along with the other students and discovered a joy for studying. It was something I had never thought I would think. Somehow, I felt a sense of belonging in Penang the way I had never felt in my home city, New York. I mean, New York was awesome and everything, and the party were way more glamorous. But Penang had a slow and laid-back lifestyle—an air of ‘whatever-will-be-will-be—that really calmed me.

In New York, everything was rush, work, and parties felt like they were more work than fun. The school there was so hierarchical that everyone had to be someone else to fit in, but in Penang, everyone was accepted for who they were no matter how weird or awkward.

I had fallen in love with Penang.  

During the holidays, Chocolate often asked to hang out at Gurney Plaza, one of the two major shopping malls on the island. The other one was all the way near the jetty or the bridge, called Queensbay Mall. I was pretty sure we watched all the under eighteen movies there were to watch, much to Tom’s delight and I bought more casually ugly clothes, much to Jolene’s dismay.

“We Penangites pride ourselves on our food.” Chocolate declared one day when we were at a hawker store. The people in Penang were so humble that even though I knew that quite a lot of them were rich, they still ate at hawker stores. Or maybe that had something to do with the food. The food in Penang was insanely deliciously scrumptious. Nothing could ever compare.

After that declaration, Chocolate proceeded to order one of each type of food and we shared everything between the eight of us classmates.

Awesome food, and awesome friends, and awesome sunny weather. What more could a traumatised girl want?