Chapter 31

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Chase.

Levi didn't wake up in the morning.

Levi didn't wake up when she was being carried to the grave.

Levi didn't wake up when she was being buried into the earth either.

Levi didn't wake up at all.

I felt nothing. Everything felt empty. The trees, the wind, the surroundings felt incomplete.

Everything felt incomplete without Levi.

I missed Levi. It had been 4 weeks since Levi's death and I was still not over it.

These few days I locked myself in the room or found myself in the tree house. All the memories ended up coming to me and I always break down again.

It was hard to believe that Levi was gone. It was even harder to think that she won't be coming back.

She was totally gone.

My heart ached, my soul hurt and my whole world seem numb. I don't think anyone can make me as happy as Levi used to.

I don't think anyone could make me feel special just by looking at me.

I don't think anyone could make me smile by doing silly things.

I don't think anyone could make me feel as loved as Levi used to.

I missed her touch, I missed her smile, her goofy ways, her petite little figure, her sticking out her tongue and...just, everything about her.

I couldn't look at anything without thinking about Levi.

I couldn't even glance at my bed without thinking about that night when we were so close to each other.

It was like I became my old self but ofcourse alot more cold this time.

I was so attached to Levi that sometimes I find myself checking my phone incase she decides to come out of the grave and scream "Gotcha !"

To be honest that would be more accepting than the reminder that she ain't coming back.

The memories replayed in my head. The first day when she met me in the bar and how annoying she was at that time. How she became from none to someone more than important in my life.

If it wasn't for Levi's confrontation I wouldn't be here now. I still would've hated my father and I still would've been struggling to pay the bills.

It's funny how one person could change everything.

Levi did what she thought was right but it wasn't Legit.

But when we're living in this kind of world where being tortured and hurting the kids and killing the born baby seemed more right than I think Levi did the legit thing.

The girl just wanted to kill the pain. The only problem was, the pain was in her.

She just wanted to be happy.

Why do life takes away the good ones? And not those bastards who kill people, who torture them? Why life is not equal to anyone?

All these time, Levi was sad and how foolish of me to even think that she was some rich spoiled brat in the beginning. How foolish of me to even hate her grin in the beginning.

If I could, I would go back to the time when I used to hate Levi and make it right by spending those time with her.

Wouldn't that be so much better?

I missed Levi. I think about her everyday. My mind always end up to hers in whatever I do.

People at school didn't even bother. Albert seemed little bit unhappy about it, but then after a week he was the same self. Elene was the same and Bolz broke down a little.

What broke my heart was Lee.

And I was afraid he's been planning the same thing as Levi.

Lee was too young to do such things but Levi was too when she started doing the same.

It told me why Levi wanted to admire little things which was left for her to see.

Because she knew.

Levi knew from the start that she was gonna die.

Loneliness killed her.

But I was happy for one thing.

Levi died as hero. Yes, she took the drugs which was illegal but she saved me from it, from all the darkness that I use to see.

And realisation tries to kick in slowly and I found tears streaming down one more time from my face.

Now, I exactly know why Levi approached me.

Levi knew that I was lonely and alone. She knew that I was one metre away from giving up.

Levi seemed to know everything and maybe that's why she didn't gave up on me.

And maybe that's why she made me feel special.

Levi was a helper from day one.

I was the one who needed the help.

And I think it was time for me to do the same.

I remember I had promised Levi that I wouldn't go back to who was I before. She deliberately made me promise those things.

I smiled at her ways.

But even if I hadn't made those promises, I still would smile because if I wouldn't, then Levi's death wouldn't be worth.

She died helping me when she was the one who needed the help.

What she did wasn't right but she thought it was the only Legit thing to do.

'Legit', in this world.

Maybe in different world it would've been called 'Suicide'

In my eyes, Levi was Legit.

And maybe, that's alliteration.

I smiled to myself as I let my mind wander to Levi's.

She might be dead, but she was still alive in me.

Levi was still there, in my heart....and maybe in yours too.

All she wanted to do was help....that's all.
;):

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