uncontrollable (completed)

laundry

When I finally got back to my flat, Dan dropping me off, we both knew it was empty. Dan unwrapped my scarf and pulled me forwards by the tails, briefly pressing his face into the top of my head. "Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow." He said.

He meant it. He came to see me the next day. And the next. And the next after that. It got to the point where I just expected Dan to insinuate himself at some point in my day. And to act like it had always been this way. He never said can I see you tomorrow? or will I see you tomorrow? It was always When? and Where?

We met at his flat in between interviews, and work for me. I had finally gone back. He met me at starbucks on my breaks. He waited in the hallway for Eliza or I to let him into the flat. And so that became a part of my life. Sitting at my desk while Dan lounged on my bed, talking lazy circles around us.

It went on like this for a few weeks, the seeing each other every day, and the not-quite touching. Today, Dan wouldn't put down my laundry hamper.

"I can carry it." I said, my head was still in the office, and I wasn't in the mood to be treated like I was weak. I wasn't in the mood to be helped.

"I've got this," He said. "You get the door."

"No, seriously." I said. "I can carry it."

Dan was all smiles and fond glances. "Darling, get the door. I've got this." I pressed my fingertips into my temples.

"Did you just call me 'darling"?"

He grinned. "It just came out. It felt good."

"Darling?"

"Would you prefer 'honey'? No, that reminds me of my mum... What about 'baby'? No. 'Loveboat'? 'Kitten'? 'Rubber duck'?" He paused. "You know what? I'm sticking with 'darling.'"

"I don't know where to start." I said.

"Start with the door."

"Dan, I can carry my own gross dirty laundry."

"Mara, I'm not going to let you."

"There's no letting. It's my laundry."

"Possession is nine-tenths of the law."

"I don't need you carrying things for me. I have two functioning arms."

"That's not the point," He said. "What kind of jerk would I be if I let my girl carry something heavy while I walked along swinging my arms?"

Your girl? "The kind that respects my wishes." I said. "And my strength.. and my arms."

Dan grinned some more, because he wasn't taking me seriously. "I have a lot of respect for your arms. I like how they're attached to your body."

"You're making me feel fragile and limp. Give me the laundry." I reached for it.

Dan stepped back. "Mara, I know you're capable of carrying this. But I'm not capable of letting you. I literally couldn't walk next to you empty handed. It's nothing personal; I'd do this for anyone with two x chromosomes."

"Even worse."

"Why? Why is that worse? I'm respectful to women."

"It's not respectful. It's undermining our strength."

"I do," His hair fell in his eyes and he tried to blow it away. "Because being chivalrous is respectful. Women have been oppressed and persecuted since the beginning of time. If I can make their lives easier with my superior upper body strength at any time, I'm going to."

"Superior."

"Yes. Superior. Do you want to arm wrestle?"

"I don't need superior upper body strength to carry my own laundry." I put my fingers in the handles, trying to push his aside.

"You're deliberately missing the point." He said.

"No, that's you."

"Your face is flushed, did you know that?"

"Well," I said. "I'm frustrated."

"Don't make me angry-kiss you."

"Give me the laundry."

"Tempers rising, faces flushed... this is how it happens." That made me laugh, and it was irritating too. I used most of my inferior upper body strength to shove the hamper into his chest. Dan pushed back gently, but didn't let go. "Let's fight about this the next time I try and do something nice for you, okay?"

I looked up into his eyes. The way he looked back at me made me feel wide open, like he could see all my secrets. Like every thought must be written on my face. I let go of the hamper and picked up my laptop bag, opening the door.

"Finally," He said. "My triceps are killing me."