afraid of kian lawley

45

With Matty gone, everything's been pretty bad. I haven't had an actual meal for a whole week, I stay in my room all day, unless I have to go to a meeting for the funeral, I dropped out of school, I'd be lying if I said self harm wasn't involved in any of this, I've been ignoring Jc, and avoiding Kian. Nothing's okay.
Today's the funeral. Even though I feel like nothing's going right, I'm slightly happy it's finally gonna be over. I won't have to think about this anymore. It's all over after today.
"Are you ready Emma? We have to leave soon." Jc said, peeking his head in my room. I didn't respond. I just grabbed my bag, turned off my lights, then walked out my door, hitting Jc's shoulder on the way. "You can't keep ignoring me, Emma. You're gonna have to talk at some point." Jc spoke, following me down the stairs. I didn't react. I just continued walking till I got in the backseat of his car.
The ride was completely silent other than the small hum from the radio. Nothing about this is happy. I don't want to sing along to some shitty music. I want to be okay.

There's only a total of about thirty people here but it's still more than I was expecting. Kian and Jc are staying close even though I don't want them to. I just want to be alone. I shook hands and hugged multiple people while they greeted everyone saying he was a good or nice man.
During the ceremony, I spoke, making multiple people cry, while others were bored out of their minds. I cried myself, but I still tried my best to hide it.
I finally broke down after he was in the ground. Gone forever. I'll never see him again. I cried on Sam, trying to avoid telling him about Kian and I. If he found out Kian raped me, Kian would be in the ground with grandpa.

Someone grabbed my hand and pulled me away from the other people, causing me to nearly scream. "It's time to come home, Emma," a cold voice that I can't stand said to me. "I'm not coming back. I live with Kian and Jc." I said, trying to hide my fear. "And you've lived with them for long enough. Now you're coming home. We need work done around the house, and you need to start paying for more shit." I started shaking uncontrollably. "Stop shaking," my father spat. I tried so hard, but I can't. I just can't.
"Is there a problem here?" Jc asked, walking over to me. "I was just telling Emma about how she's coming home now. You can do whatever the hell you want with her stuff at your house. She has enough at home." Jc's jaw is clenched and he's about to kill my dad. "Emma's not going anywhere. She's coming home with me," he said, placing his cold hand on my bare shoulder. "She's my daughter, and last time I checked, you don't own her. I do. So why don't you go find some other slut to fuck?" I cringed at his harsh words. "Now son, I see your fists clenching, but if you place one finger on me, Emma will never see another day." My heart beat quickly, and it's taking all of me to not cry.
Jc let go of me, keeping his jaw clenched while backing away slowly. "I know you hate me right now, but I love you Emma. Please be careful. I'll figure something out," he whispered into my ear before kissing my cheek. I didn't move nor say anything because I'm too scared to even breathe.

"Did they get you a phone?" my father spat as we drove back to our house. "No," I lied, making sure it's not noticeable in my underwear. "Give me your earrings," he said, holding his hand out. "Why?" I asked, offended. Kian got these for me a few months ago. "Because you don't deserve something so nice." I sighed while taking out my favorite earrings.
"I'm going to the bar. If this house isn't spotless by the time I get back, you know what's gonna happen." I flipped him off as he walked away, quickly realizing that if he saw me, I'd be dead.
The second I heard the door close, I pulled my phone out, calling Jc. He answered immediately. "I'm coming to get you," he said right away. "No, Jc, please don't. He'll find me. Just please." I sobbed into the phone. "Then what do you want me to do, Emma?" he asked. "I-I don't know. Just let me stay here. I'll be fine." I spoke quietly. "I'm not letting him just take you like that." I breathed heavily, trying to calm down. "Jc, I don't know what to do. But.. I-I'm sorry. I shouldn't have been such an asshole. I just.. When you basically called me a slut, it hurt. I never thought you'd do something like that and I was just.. I was hurt." I said into the phone. The line was silent. "I'm coming to get you," he said again. "Jc, please, just don't. I'm fine," he sighed heavily. "I want you to call me every single chance you get, okay? No matter what. If he hurts you, you better fucking tell me. Okay?"
"Okay." I whispered. "I love you, Emma."
"I love you too." And with that I hung up, staring at the shitty house I have to clean.