Repainting A Blank Canvas - [Riren/Ereri]

Deadly Black

Oh sweet hurting child.

Ren knew how impossible it was, what he was asking for. But it was all that he could do. Beg, make illogical request. He wanted the old man to keep holding on. It was a futile request.

"Silly Ren.. You cannot cheat death.." The wavering lights of the room darkened. It was for the best perhaps, the old man's eyes were also beginning to sprout tears. He wouldn't want his family seeing it.

With a pained sob, Ren buried his face onto the crippled man's chest. "But death can cheat you." He said with a miserable cry accompanying it.

"Just so," With a wrinkled smile, the dying man brushed away the tufts of brown hair away from the teen's forehead, a pale scar hidden under it. "Still knowing that there is death, you cherish every moment you spend living.." Another fit of coughs wracked the man's body. "..s-so I do not regret everything.. If there were a man more happier even at death, then I know him not for he is I.."

Feeling the cold fingers press onto his scar, Ren looked up at the man, taking in his words. Full of wisdom, as he always was. "I love you grandpa.. I love all of you." Ren said sincerely, his tears starting to subside. He didn't want to hold the man back anymore.

In front of him was a man ready to die.

"Sing to me one last time my boy?" Cold fingers wiped the warm cheeks, trying to rid them of the remnants of tears. "That lullaby that haunts your dreams," A soft breath escaping him. "Let me hear it as I go.."

He needn't ask him twice.

Ren pressed his cheek onto the cold hand.

"Searching in the dark..
Scared and on my own.."

Every dream, he was there. The man with silver eyes.

"Now that I have found you,
I'll never be alone."

He dreamt of him every night, he hears this song wringing in his ears like a mantra. A prayer. Like it was begging to always be remembered.

"And though we may part ways,
this you can be sure.."

Yes, this song was his treasure. It felt like it kept him strong as he grew up. When he needed comfort all he needed was to close his eyes and dream.

"You, I will remember forevermore."

That deep voice that called him tenderly. Hands that embraced him so tight, it made all the bad things go away. It was vague and unclear yet it made his heart weigh like a cloud. Who this man was, he didn't know. All he knew that in his dreams he was safe in the arms of someone who loved him and whom he loved back with all his heart.

"I won't forget,
you'll always be here in my heart,
there you'll keep me strong.
Your memory is here,
To you, I will keep holding on."

Is it even possible, realistically speaking? To love some man he's only known to exist in his dreams, to love him unconditionally? The idea of him being only a figment of his imagination, it hurt. Yet Ren kept hoping, kept clinging into the thought that, maybe, just maybe.. If ever he had the chance to escape the underground and explore the world, would there be a chance of them ever meeting?

"But I'm afraid,
And I want to hold your hand.."

If he really was real.. Shouldn't he have found Ren by now?

He couldn't keep singing this lullaby.

The hurt was too much. 

It was all so futile. Everything he had, even the important things before him, they were all slipping away from his fingers like fine desert sands. He just couldn't grasp it. His memories, his blank childhood, his family...