Roman

XII

"Don't make a promise you can't keep," I state.

He frowns, but nods.

I turn on my side, then press a kiss to his neck, right over where my mark would go.

His head rolls to the side out of instinct, "Lena, stop it."

I do it again and he growls, a sound deep from in his chest, which vibrates under my hand.

"Please," I whisper.

"It'll only hurt you," he tells me.

"How?"

"You know how. Why would you want any part of my mind? It's a mess," he states.

I shake my head, "I don't care, you're my mate. I've told you that already."

"If you want," he replies, turning his head.

I nod, placing another kiss, and his arms tighten around me. My wolf stirs, wanting to be released, wanting to mark her claim. He was hers, as she was his, they were each other's.

I feel my teeth elongate, and I slide them over his neck, causing him to growl deeply.

My wolf pushes me forward, and my canines sink into his neck. He growls again, thunderously, but turns into a moan of sorts.

I pull my teeth out, licking my lips, and my eyes meet dark one's. My wolf surfaces, and the two wolves look at each other before pulling back and giving us our control back.

Millions of thoughts and feelings overcome me, his and mine. I sneak into his mind for a brief second, looking at his memories. A flash of his father fills my mind. He looks like him. Then, his mother appears, and I gasp at the beauty of her, the strength she possesses just by looking at her. The vision blurs, and Roman sighs, "don't."

I nod, then close my eyes laying my head on his chest again, "promise you'll try, at least promise that."

"I'll fight until my last breath to see you again, my Luna," he vows, sincerity laced through his voice. It wasn't a normal promise, it was a covenant, one he intended on keeping. An alpha's promise.

"It'll be for the best," he says, his voice tired.

"amor est fortior aliquid," I tell him.

"cor meum tuum est," he replies. "Forever."

I close my eyes, not understanding, but a warmth fills me, and I know that it means something that would change us.

"Sleep, amica mea, I will not let anything happen to you," he promises.

"I'm not worried about me, Roman. You're the one who's fighting, risking your life for millions," I tell him.

He lets out a slow breath, and I look up at him, "please don't make me leave, I'll fight with you."

"No, and that's the final decision," he answers, opening his eyes and looking down at me. "Don't be stubborn."

I smile, "when have I ever been?"

He rolls his eyes, kissing my forehead, then frowns, "I want to kiss you, Lena, really kiss you."

"Not yet," I reply, looking down.

"When? You can't wait forever, we have four days together. Why waste them?" He states.

"Because, I'm scared," I tell him honestly. "I'm scared that it'll make it harder to leave. We already bear each other's marks, anything else will cause it to actually kill me. I'm scared of that feeling, I've never felt it before, and I'm scared that, no matter what, I've already started to feel it."

"Then why hold back?" He questions.

Thinking over his words, I decide that he's right. There's only four days left and I might never see him again. Ever.

"Why?"

He looks at me, "because I've waited and waited to be able to kiss you. You have no idea how hard it's been for me to keep for pushing you against the wall and kissing you. I'm figuring it out, figuring out what I feel, and you know, I don't care. I used to care if people knew what I felt, because I thought feelings made people weak, but then I met you. The girl whose feelings showed through her eyes, open and raw. I love that about you. You made me realize that feelings are what make a person stronger, enabled you to be human. I love that, and-and I love you."

I close my eyes, feeling them burn with tears. The man who said he had never wanted me, the man who said he didn't need me or didn't care is telling me he loves me.

"You don't have to say it back, because I understand what I've done to make you not trust me, but I ask that you'll try to believe me when I tell you that I love you, because I do. I'll risk my life for you, I'll protect you, forever," he states.

"Not yet, but in the future, maybe I can tell you," I tell him.

I feel his chest rise and fall as he sighs, "okay."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize, Lena, I understand," he replies. "Now, go to sleep."

I curl up next to him, wrapping my arm around his waist and tangling our legs together.

Do I love him?

The question is on my mind as I fall into a dreamless sleep.

When I wake up, Roman isn't next to me. I panic and sit up, but my racing heart calms when I hear the shower running.

I lie back down just as it shuts off and close my eyes. Our conversation from last night replays through my mind, and the thought of him loving me is almost overwhelming. He was a cruel monster, and now he's saying he loves me.

I hear the door open and turn on my side, watching him. He walks out in a black v-neck, revealing my mark proudly on his neck.

I get up and walk over to him as he starts looking for something and wrap my arms around his waist. He lets out a slow breath, turning around, "do stuff like that and I'll kiss you without your permission."

I just shrug and lay my head on his chest as his arms wrap around me.

"I'm not going to stop thinking about you for one day while you're gone," he says softly. "I'll never stop wanting to see you or hold you, or just hear your voice. It's going to hurt me when you leave, but it's for the best."

I sigh, "can we not think about it right now. I have three days still."

He nods, "you're right. I'm sorry."

"Can we go to your garden?"

He smiles softly, "of course."