You get too close (Dean)

Chapter 68

"The first time he hit me was around two months after dating...I said something he didn't like and he slapped me. He never apologized for it and he never acknowledged it. We just went on with our lives,Acting as if it didn't happen. Then he hit me again. And again. And again. He started to realize that I was, Obviously, Scared of him and he used it to his advantage. He threatened me all the time and it just...It was uncomfortable." I explain.

"Asshole." Dean growls, His grip on me getting tighter. "Where the hell is he now?"

"He still lives in New York I think." I shrug.

"Bastard." He mutters. "I'll kill him."

"Calm down big boy." I laugh. "I'm over it. I'm just happy that I have you now."

"Thank you...Anything else you'd like to tell me?" He asks. "I don't think so...I'd prefer to not go into all details but you know just about everything I think." I shrug. "So...Your turn."

"Well there's a lot...What do you want me to start with?" He asks.

I think for a minute. Renee mentioned a lot of interesting things but only one stuck out to me. "...Tell me about your mom." I whisper. I feel him tense up so I rub at his hand softly. "You don't have to." I say.

"No it's okay." He sighs. "I'll start from the beginning...My mom and I had a weird relationship. We were super close but we also didn't get along. We got into a fight almost every day. I didn't respect her and listen to her and she didn't respect or listen to me. But we were all each other had so we held each other close. She made sure that she could provide for me and I tried my best to do the same for her. She once had three jobs at the same time. I remember not seeing her for day on end. She worked seven days a week and the only time I got to see her was when she was sleeping. That lasted for about six months before I got her fired from two of her jobs." He chuckles slightly. "She was beyond pissed at me. We were living from day to day and we were this close to being evicted even when she had her three jobs. But I decided I wanted to help her so I got a few jobs too. And I...Sometimes I stole money from people. I didn't want to but...I just wanted her to be able to relax. I wanted to see her more."

"I remember that when she found out about me stealing, She gave me a good ole ass whooping with a switch that I had to pick out. I was thirteen." He laughs. "I thought I was too old for whoopings. Apparently not. She gave me the longest lecture I've ever experienced and then she made me pay everybody I stole from back. I even had to write them letters apologizing to them. She tried her very best to make sure I knew right from wrong. She told me that no matter what, no matter how hard things may get, It's never okay to steal from other hardworking people. She tried her best to raise me right."

"Mom dated around a lot. I think she did it to get money. The men she dated were usually men who weren't very rich but who could provide for us, Not that they did very much. Then she met Matthew...Well clearly she met him before since it turns out he's my dad...But I guess they met again. They started dating again and...Yeah." He sighs. "I hated that guy. He was the worst. He was a disrespectful little cunt. He always talked bad about my mom. Always called her ugly and fat and stupid and everything rude you could think up. Me and him got into a lot of fights. And he was a big man so he won most of em, But I never learned my lesson. If he said anything about my mom I'd fight him again. I didn't care if I knew what the outcome would be. I didn't care if I knew I'd lose. Nothing could ever stop me for fighting for my mom."

"There was this one fight that I remember though. I was sixteen at the time. I was out hanging out with my friends and then I came back home. When I went inside my house I heard her screaming. So I ran into her room and...And he was on her. He was...Raping her. And he was hitting her." He sucks in a breath and I look up at him. He stares ahead and rubs at my hair before continuing again. "I pulled him off and I hopped on top of him and I beat the shit out of him. And he tried to fight back, Of coarse, But I just wouldn't stop. I swung my fists until I couldn't feel him anymore. That was one of the only fights I ever won against him. Then a few months later...I went out with my friends again and then I came home. And this time I was too late. He beat her to death and put her in the tub to drown. I was too late." He cries.

"I'm sorry." I whisper.

"It's okay." He sighs. "I just wish I'd come back in time to help her. I shouldn't have left her alone with him. I knew what he could do...Anyways,I called the cops but he never got in trouble..." He shakes his head. "They didn't do anything. Then we had her funeral but I didn't go to that." He says. "I couldn't believe she was gone. I refused to believe she was gone. I didn't go to visit her grave until two years ago. I went with Renee. She had been trying to convince me to go see her for around a year before I finally gave in."

"Did it make you feel better?" I ask curiously. I wonder if I got visit my dad...If I'll feel better. "It did." He admits. "There was a five million pound weight lifted off my shoulders. I felt so much better. I sat and I talked to my mom for hours. From the time the graveyard opened until the time it closed. It was great. I wish I could say it made me stop hating Matthew. I wish I could say it made me forgive him and move on. But it didn't. It made me hate him even more. I still want him to die. I think it should be him in that grave instead of my mom." He sighs. "Anyway...Since the first time I went to see my mom, I've gone at least five more times to visit her. I come back feeling better each time...Sadie I think you should go visit your dad one day. I don't mean to tell you what to do but I've been in your position before. I feel like you should visit your dad one day."

"I want to." I admit. "But I'm scared...Anyways...Renee told me about you getting into drugs." I change the subject. He sighs a little. "Yeah it didn't last long. For like six months I started smoking marijuana. But I stopped because it obviously almost made me lose my job."

"Okay...Have you ever actually went to jail?" I ask. "Other than the one time you got into the bar fight." I add. "Of coarse I have." He chuckles. "You don't think I just make up stories about getting arrested in Mexican boarder towns do you? And do you honestly think I don't actually know a fat Tony and sneaky Pete?"

"I regret asking." I mutter. I assumed those were only made up stories, To add to his onscreen character. Apparently not...

"I appreciate this talk." I tell him. "I feel a lot better."

"I do too. I love our talks. Opening up his hard. It opens up old wounds. But sometimes that's good I guess. I love you, Sadie."

"I love you too."

A/N: I tried to make you guys cry with this chapter but I failed so hard. It's not all that sad. Oh well. Happy (Day late)Thanksgiving!