Summer Problems or Hot Problems?!

Ch.11-A Letter From Demetrius-

July 19th, 2013

Dear Tyler,

What do I even say to you? How can I possibly express what I feel right now... I don't know how to put it. Angry? Hurt? Betrayed? When I first saw Alejandro after so many months in America I was pissed off, angry, and didn't know what to do. I'm sure you know the whole thing by now. We hadn't talked since I left and I had so much pent up emotion about it that I needed to let it go. But I couldn't because I didn't know what to say; it was like my dreams of telling him how I felt all of this time about the situation and not being able to say anything about it. His face was just so smug about seeing me and I wanted to just scream at him for all the pain he caused me how everything was unfair, how I hated his guts, and how I just wanted him dead but I didn't. Because you were there. For some reason your presence calmed me down and I couldn't yell. I just told him to leave me alone and never speak to me again. Obviously that would be difficult considering all of my friends lived around him but I thought I could ignore him. Then I saw him talking to you which made we even more mad how he was hopelessly flirting with you knowing good and well that I wasn't too far away to see him. I couldn't say anything to you because I didn't want you involved with this mess. Well you can see how we'll that worked out for us. But what really fucking sent me over the edge is when you brought him over to the apartment and said you were dating. How was ready to claw his eyes out because he had the nerve to date one of my best friends knowing good and well that it would hurt me. I know you tried fixing things because you felt bad (I was still upset with you) about deceiving me but that didn't work out. I think what I'm trying to say is....that seeing you and Alejandro together knowing full and well that he was only using you to get to me was one of the worst feelings I had in my life. I was angry, upset, and utterly disgusted. At least that's what I thought at first because I knew that Alejandro was manipulative and a bastard. He tried to turn my own sister and best friend against me once. Then I started to realize that maybe he was completely over me and actually liked you. I may sound crazy but I actually thought this. The next thing I knew I was doubting myself. What if I was only jealous of Alejandro because I liked you? I was so envious of him for taking the step to actually ask you out on a date because I couldn't do it myself. I wasn't about to ruin your first relationship because I was jealous. So I just thought maybe all those problems are because of me. Maybe I need to disappear for a while to make you happy. Maybe I need to just squash any problems I had with Alejandro and become friends with him for your sake. For your happiness. What I am trying to say is that I like you Tyler. I've liked you since we first met. I've liked you since our first kiss. I've liked you since forever. I was just too scared to say anything because I didn't want to mess up our perfect friendship and turn back into that person I was a while ago. I like you sooo much that I can keep this to myself and never go our with you. I'll admire from a far whole you date other people while you're happy. And I'll be that other shoulder to cry on when you have too many problems on your plate or when a boy breaks up with you. I like how we are now. I wouldn't want to mess it up just because I have a stupid crush that could go away at any minute. But I doubt it. You are an amazing person and awesome best friend. I wouldn't change you at all. I love you Tyler NightLock. And that's why I can't let you see this letter. Because I love you too much and I'm selfish. Maybe one day I'll let you see this letter but today is not that day.

Love,

Demetrius