Go Home, Idiot

Here's Freddy

"This is absolutely ridiculous. I'm not wearing this." Sasuke frowned at his reflection in the mirror. Naruto tried his hardest not to laugh, but a small noise similar to a giggle escaped from his mouth. "Don't laugh at me, I bet you did this on purpose!" Sasuke shouted as his friend started laughing.

"No no I'm sorry, it's just that-" Naruto cut himself off to laugh harder. Sasuke crossed his pale arms that were now hidden in the long trench coat. "Just what?" He asked sternly. "THe MouSTaCHe" Naruto replied with a cackle.

Sasuke frowned and punched Naruto's shoulder. "Ow! Jeez! Okay okay! I'll stop laughing!" Naruto said defensively. "But anyway, we need to give you a fake identity." "You're definitely joking, right? Why don't we just make up some bullshit name like 'Fred' for gods sake." Sasuke threw his arms up in the air. "Hey! That could work!" Naruto said.

"Dude n-" Sasuke was interrupted by Naruto. "No no no, hear me out, you could be from France, that way you could act like a complete idiot and no one would suspect a thing." Naruto smirked. "Why France out of all places?" Sasuke asked. "Because no one will ask why you're not in France, think about it, it's perfect considering the b-" Sasuke covered his blonde friend's mouth. "Stop, that's not okay." He said coldly. "Don't even joke about that."

Naruto grabbed Sasuke's arm and removed the pale hand from his mouth. "....Did you think I was gonna make a joke?" He asked. "Sure seemed like it." Sasuke replied. "Screw you- wait, do you know any French whatsoever?" Naruto asked. Sasuke cleared his throat, and laughed kinda like Pee-Wee Herman. Naruto's eye twitched as Sasuke said "I'a hate'a you'a so'a much right'a now."

"....that was an Italian accent speaking English." Naruto whispered. "Well I guess that answers your question, I don't know a shred of French." Sasuke smirked.

"Okay whatever, we'll work on that later." Naruto said. "So, you wanted to 'hang out', what do you wanna do?" "Well.... I kinda do need new shoes." Sasuke smiled.

"Okay fine, but I'm not exactly made of money." Naruto frowned at the smiling raven-haired boy infront of him.

Naruto frantically looked in every direction as Sasuke was browsing through a store. "Can you not look so suspicious?" Sasuke said as he grabbed a pair of stupid looking shoes. "I just don't want to get caught harbouring an S-Rank criminal." Naruto said as he frowned at the price-tag on the stupid shoes. "Relax, they'll realise that I'm not the Sasuke from this world, and everything will be fine." He said comparing shoes.

"I doubt that, and why do you shop like a girl? You're so picky about a stupid pair of shoes." Naruto frowned at his friend. Sasuke scrunched his face up and said "What crawled up your ass and died?" "What- Nothing crawled up my ass!" Naruto yelled. "Now people are staring, good job." Sasuke teased him.

"Ugh, whatever. Just let me know when you've made up your damn mind." Naruto said as he stomped away angrily. Sasuke shrugged and grabbed another pair of shoes. As he went to put them back, someone bumped into his back. "Hey! Watch it, freak!" said a blonde girl. "Oh no, I'm very sorry. That was completely my fault, you see, I was going to put these shoes back when I accidentally collided with your beautiful body." Sasuke smiled charmingly. This should do it, girls are always easy to manipulate with charm. He thought. The girl's eyes sparkled as she looked at Sasuke. "N-No, it's okay, it was completely my fault! I'm very sorry!" She said as she continued to stare at him.

Sasuke casually winked at her as he said "Excuse me, If you will." He turned to leave when she tapped his shoulder. "Uhm, excuse me but I feel like I need to introduce myself. I'm Ino, and once again I'm very sorry about bumping into you." She smiled sweetly.

Sasuke replied with "That's a very gorgeous name, it's perfect for a gorgeous girl, and I'm Sas-" Sasuke coughed to interrupt himself. "I'm Fred." He said. "Is that a foreign name?" She asked. "Yes, it is. I'm from France." Sasuke said cringing slightly.

Ino swiftly pulled out a piece of paper and wrote something down. "Here's my number, you can call me whenever you like." She said as she winked. "Oh, uh, thank you." Sasuke smiled back as Ino waved to him.

He sighed as she left. He was sure that was the Other Ino that contradicted the one from his world. He grabbed a pair of shoes and looked for Naruto. He saw his blonde friend talking to someone who was probably Lee. "Ah I see, so you haven't seen her?" Asked Lee while he smiled. "No, sorry. Did you check her house?" Naruto asked.

Lee nodded. "Yes, her parents said she was out but they didn't know where exactly." Lee said as his attention turned to Sasuke. They simply smiled at eachother as Sasuke put his arm around Naruto's shoulder. "She's probably at the Yakiniku Shack, since it's ladies night." Sasuke said, which caused Lee to look slightly surprised. "Oh I see, thank you. May I ask how you knew that?" Lee said awkwardly. "Oh uh.... I just ran into Ino. I'm Sa- I mean Fred, by the way." Sasuke chuckled awkwardly, he could feel Naruto glaring at him.

"It's nice to meet you, Fred." Lee said as he bowed. "I must go now, thank you for your help." "It's fine, cya later." Sasuke said as Naruto waved to Lee.

Naruto angrily stomped on Sasuke's foot. "Ouch! The hell?" Sasuke glared at the blonde ninja. "You nearly blew your cover, idiot." Naruto frowned at him. Sasuke sighed "Yeah whatever. Anyway, I found the shoes I wante-" Sasuke was cut off by the obnoxious sound of his ringtone. "....What ringtone is that?" Naruto asked quietly. Sasuke coughed and said "Hotline Bling but that's not important, I found the shoes I wanted." Sasuke handed Naruto the shoes as he walked down the street and into an alley.

He answered his phone with a "Chellow-" "WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?!" Came an angry voice. Sasuke's eye squinted as he held his phone away from his ears. "YOU'VE IGNORED MY CALLS ALL DAY AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE YOU ARE! YOU COMPLETE MORON! I'VE BEEN WORRIED SICK ABOUT YOU!" Sasuke sighed as he answered smugly "Well well well, look who suddenly cares." "Don't make this into a joke you moron! This is serious!" came the phone.

Sasuke gripped his phone angrily as he said "Shut up, Menma."