complications | joshler (prequel to infatuated)

part one [5]

january (beginning of year 7)

"josh, i don't want to go, i can't do it." tyler said, throwing the clothing items in his hands onto the beanbag and paced back and forth. he let out a loud sigh and collapsed next to the pile of school clothes.

josh picked up the school uniform next to tyler and placed it at the other side of the room. tomorrow was the first day of high school for both tyler and josh. tyler was freaking out and worrying.

he hated seeing tyler so sad. he hated seeing the tears that dripped down his face, one after the other. he hated seeing tyler eyes red rimmed at the edges from all the crying. he hated seeing the pain and emptiness in his eyes after hours of sobbing. he hated seeing tyler that way. nobody as amazing as tyler should ever deserve to feel so sad.

every time tyler had an "episode" of crying, josh would put on some music - usually fall out boy - then sit next to him and hug the sobbing boy until his breathing returned to normal and his eyes stopped running. josh was glad that he could help in some way, besides, he loved wrapping his arms around tyler's small frame.

"you can do it tyler, i know you can," josh replied, placing a hand on tyler's shoulder reassuringly. tyler turned and hugged josh. josh's breath hitched at the sudden contact but returned the embrace. "i know you'll be okay. i hate seeing you like this." josh muttered into tyler's shoulder with his eyes shut.

tyler released his grip on josh. a small smile, not quite reaching his eyes was plastered onto his face. "thank you. josh, you're such a great friend."

josh grinned, but deep down he wished that he could mean more than just a friend to tyler. he knew that that would never happen. josh's smile disappeared at the thought. either way, josh knew he had to keep his feelings to himself, for tyler.

from that moment, tyler was the only one thing that crossed josh's mind. no matter what he did, or thought - it would always relate back to tyler and his beautiful soul. how could any human be so incredibly compassionate and caring? tyler was an angel, a savior. a perfect human being who deserved to feel no pain. tyler deserved to not know about josh's feelings. it would ruin their friendship and leave them both in a whole lot of pain. it hurt, but it was for the best.

what are you thinking of this so far?
i was going to write another part but i decided i'd update before.