complications | joshler (prequel to infatuated)

part one [4]

december (grade 6)

"thank you for driving us, mrs joseph." josh thanked tyler's mum. the middle aged woman nodded a reply and josh hopped out of the car, his new red converse hitting the pavement. he shut the car door and mrs joseph drove away.

it was the night of the year six disco, their last celebration before they headed off to high school. everyone had been talking about it for the last week at school, including tyler. "tonight is going to be so fun, i can already tell." he said, smiling from ear to ear.

"yeah i guess so.. if you like a bunch of annoying kids dancing and being stupid." josh put his hands in his pockets. he really didn't want to be there. everybody thought that josh had a crush on this girl, abbey, but he didn't. she had a major crush on him, though. it got to that point where she would send him love notes, pretending to be 'anonymous'. tyler promised that he would try and get them to dance together, or do something more. but the thing was, josh had a crush on somebody else. a very big crush in fact.

"don't be in such a bad mood; it'll be fun! plus, i'll get abbey to dance with you so that will make it even better." he replied, winking and bumping josh with his elbow.

josh sighed. tyler noticed that he didn't want to talk anymore so they headed into the auditorium in silence. tyler opened the door and they were instantly faced with bright lights flashing in different directions. loud dance music was playing and kids from josh's year level were flailing around, but some might call that dancing.

"i'm going to dance with max and sarah over there," he pointed to a pair who were dancing at the other side of the room. josh nodded and sat down on one of the plastic chairs that were surrounding the dance floor.

josh stared at tyler across the room. he looked so cute when he was like this - smiling, laughing, generally enjoying life. josh couldn't keep his eyes off of him. he was absolutely perfect.

wait, no, josh liked girls. why was he thinking like that? he wasn't gay, was he? no, he definitely wasn't. josh was not gay. as simple as that. gay is unnatural, that's what mum said. being gay is a sin. he couldn't be gay.

josh tried to push the thoughts out of his brain as he headed into the group of people dancing. he spotted abbey and moved over to her. she was wearing a black and purple jumpsuit with black sandals. her brown hair was pinned back out of her face.

"hey, do you want to dance with me?" josh asked the grinning girl. he knew that he was doing the wrong thing but he continued anyway.

"yes, of course!" she replied over-enthusiastically while batting her eyelashes at josh. he rolled his eyes internally. abbey had always annoyed him but he had to do it. he needed to prove to himself that he was interested in girls, not boys.

they began dancing together. josh still couldn't keep his eyes off of tyler dancing with sarah and max. he felt the urge to smile while staring at him, but he resisted it. josh needed to leave the stuffy and sweaty environment, he needed to sort his thoughts.

"um, sorry, i need some air." he said to abbey, her face falling. josh ran to the boy's toilets, leaving abbey confused. josh's breathing was heavy as he stared at himself in the mirror.

what was wrong with him? why was he thinking like this?

"i like tyler." josh whispered staring at his mirrored self. his heart began beating, faster and faster.

"i like tyler. a lot." he said a little bit louder.

josh had felt like this for a long time, he just couldn't admit it. but now he had, what would happen?

what would his mum think?

most importantly, what would tyler think?