The Lost Cause And The Loner

Twelve.

"Hey, umm. Is Alex home?" Annika asked Alex's mum.  Alex's mum nodded and let us in. All three of us walked nervously upstairs and knocked on his bedroom door.

"Who is it?" A voice slurred.

"It's Jordan." Jordan said quickly. "Let me in, bro."

There was a sound of sluggish footsteps and the door flung open. I gasped. Alex's hair was messy and he had vomit on his shirt. His skin was a deathly pale and he looked like he could collapse any minute. "Hangover." He explained.

"Hey, Alex." Annika smiled.

"Hey." He saluted her playfully and smirked as best he could, clearly trying to look fine. "Please excuse me while I go and sit down. If I don't I might throw up."

We all walked in and sat next to him. "Why haven't you come into school?" Annika asked while I just sat there shyly.

"Meh. I haven't felt like it." Alex offered.

"I've missed you, brother. Anyway, you need to go. I know how much you hate school, but it'll be worth it in the end." Jordan said. Wow, I've never heard him talk so highly about school.

Alex sighed. I looked into his eyes, and the first thing I saw was the violent purple smudges under them from lack of sleep. "Hey, Ebby." He said, shortening my name. "You haven't spoken to me yet."

"Oh. Hi." I shrugged.

"Hi. How are you?" He asked. I shrugged and he looked a little disappointed that I wasn't interacting with him. I guess I just wanted to see that he was okay.

Then I could get on with my life and not have to think about him again.

"Alex, we all know something's wrong." Annika raised her eyebrows.

He shrugged, clearly not planning on giving it away. Annika and Jordan sighed and looked at each other. "Look, just promise us you'll be in school tomorrow." Annika pleaded.

"Fine." He said, running his hand through his hair. As he did, I noticed that there were red stains running down the sleeves of his hoodie. They looked like...

Bloodstains.

Looking around, I realised that Annika and Jordan hadn't noticed. Alex was looking at me, terror and panic in his eyes. Why was there blood on him? I felt my skin go even paler than it already was.

Annika and Jordan stood up to leave, saying 'goodbye' and 'see you later."

I went to follow them out of the door, but Alex stopped me. "Wait... I need to talk to Ebony. Alone."

Annika wiggled her eyebrows at me. "Kk." Jordan said, separating the two of us by a door.

"So... I'm guessing that you saw." Alex bit his lip. I nodded. "Basically... I'm a fucking idiot." He frowned, pulling up his sleeves. I gasped in horror. There was scarlet blood dripping from cuts in his arms. Deep cuts.

"How did that happen?" I asked. Did he fall over, did he get scratched by a cat? What happened?

"You're so clueless and innocent." He smiled. "This is hard to say, but I need to get this off my chest and I know I can trust you not to tell anyone." Alex sighed. "I cut myself."

I felt my jaw drop. Alex... Cut himself. Why? All I knew was I needed to tell someone. He needed help. "I need to find... A counselor or something." I mumbled.

"No!" Alex objected. "I told you because I thought I could trust you."

I was torn... Do I tell someone so that they can help him or do I stay quiet so that Alex will still like me?

"Fine... I'll keep quiet." I said, but I wasn't too sure what I was going to do yet.

"Thank you, Ebony." Alex said, opening his arms out for a hug. I awkwardly hugged him back and he snuggled into my neck. Listening, I heard soft sniffles.

He was crying.

"You mean a lot to me." He said, his voice muffled by my shoulder. I softened in the hug and I heard Alex sigh. "Ugh, sorry for crying. I've had a tough month or so."

"Its fine." I promised.

"Come on. You should go." Alex bit his lip.

I stood up and held the door handle. "See you later." I said, motionless.

"Bye." He wiped his eyes.

It took all my strength to leave him, but somehow I managed to push myself out of his bedroom.