*DON'T READ* Mianhae Dear Chingu (BTS Jin x reader fanfic) Completed

New Years! (43)

SeokJin's POV

I held her hands, "Y/N... Do you know what you've done to me? Everyone may think you're weird, but everyone's weird. Tell me two people who behaves the same? Tell me people who have the same personality and are considered normal? None. Nobody is normal. So don't worry, because... I love you for being you. For being weird and not like 'normal' girls.
"Y/N, you have no idea how many times I've wanted to tell you this. Do you know how many times I just wanted you in my arms? How many times my heart stopped beating because of you? It's countless!
"Did you remember when Jimin first confessed to you? And I wasn't there? Those words I said? I did it out of jealously. I couldn't understand why I had feelings for you. It was such a mix feeling, I couldn't help but to pick on you. I didn't know what to do because you were Jimin's. And what made it harder was that you kept protecting me! You kept defending me! It was really obvious you were lying but... You still protected me.
"There was the time when I told you,

Stop trying to protect me (Y/N)." I told him,
"Why? Why are you telling me this?" He asked taking a step back away from me

Because I love you but I need to get rid of these feelings to prevent complications between the three of us...

"Stop (Y/N)... It'll make things complicated for me... Just stop."
He pulled my ear gently but fast, "why would it make it complicated? Just tell me goodness..."

"It was because I didn't want things to be complicated between us."

Her eyes widened as I continued,"That day when you gave me that Mario plushie... That really really made me happy. Until now, I'd still look at it and smile for no reason. Heh. HoSeok took a picture of us hugging that day. I still have the pic."

For the first time, she never said anything as I told her more things from my heart, "The day before Jungkook's birthday... You met me in the corridor. Do you still remembered what happened?" I asked her.
She nodded.
Looking down at my feet, my eyes went back to hers, 

"Why do you... keep on picking on me? Did I do something to make you mad? I can make it up to you." She told me

I shook my head and clenched my fists but looked at 'him' calmly, "You can't... It's like a horse who can talk to ants. That's how impossible it is for you to make it up to me..."

"It was because I loved you. That's why you couldn't make it up to me Y/N. Until now I still do. I still love you. And... It hurts whenever I saw you with Jimin. Sometimes I'd daydream, I'd dream about... What if I confessed first.
"There was the day you fell sick... It was the same day I wanted to commit suicide. I never even thought through about it. It was the first time I could actually do something for you, something that will help you. Of course I wasn't happy about you being sick but... I was greatly needed, and I felt happy to help you.
"It was that very night I found out you were a girl. It gave me hope. I didn't know why... Just made me happy. I wouldn't feel... How do I put it? ... Looking less manly? But anyways, you were very very pretty. Beautiful.
"That night... Before you flew to L.A, didn't you remember that you asked me what else you could do to repay me? Well. You already did without you even knowing!

For saving me, giving me a reason not to jump off the building, for walking into my life and for reminding me that it'll be impossible to find someone so kind like you. Without you, who knows how boring my life may be, even as a trainee.

"I love you for that as well!" I said while I pulled her closer to me, now our eyes were just inches from each other, foreheads nearly touching.
"Do you know when it was like hell? When you went to L.A for two weeks. Even for two weeks it seemed like two years. I bet two years would feel like twenty years to me." She giggled while a small smile creeped up my face.