Chapter 4

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Ashley's POV

"You can't leave me. I don't know what I would do without you.." Her words pierce through me. I hate hurting her.

"I don't have a choice, my whole family is leaving. You know I don't wanna leave you. But what can I do?" I feel the tears building.

"It's all the way across the country."

"I know." I say simply.

"I don't know... I'm not sure if I can live without you Ashley."

"Don't say that Spence." I say wiping away a tear making its way down her cheek.

"I love you." She says trying to hold back more tears, unsuccessfully.

I pull her into a hug trying to calm her.

My dad honks the horn, signaling that it's time to go.

I'm not ready to leave her yet.

"I gotta go." I tell her placing a kiss on her forehead.

"Please Ash."

I don't want to leave her.

Believe me I don't.

But I don't have a choice.

"I'm sorry. I love you too." I say kissing her one more time.

A kiss that I wanted to last forever.

I let her go and walk away.

As we pull off I turn around and I can see her looking out her window.

I know this hurts her more than it hurts me.

She's not used to being away from the people she loves.

I, on the other hand, have had plenty of practice.

The day I left keeps replaying in my head and I hate it.

I hate thinking about the fact that I'm the one that made Spencer cry.

It sucks.

Being away from her sucks.

Most of all, being here sucks.

I've been trying to play catch up since I got here and yeah I'm smart but you try catching up more than 3/4ths way through the semester and see how that works out for you.

You think I'd be used to having to make new friends.

Truth is I hate it.

"Come on Ashley we're gonna go check out the base." My brother says running in my room.

This move was a lot easier for him.

He likes being able to create a new him everywhere we go.

Not me though.


I just fucking miss Spencer.

I'm in school now and school's well it's school.


After this period it's lunch.

Nothing I hate more than lunch.

It's where I have to stand like a dumbass and look for a place to sit.

You know like the typical high school everyone is in a group.

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