Chapter 3

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"Something always brings me back to you. It never takes too long. No matter what I say or do, I still feel you here to the moment I'm gone. You hold me without touch, you keep me without chains. I never wanted anything so much, then to drown in your love and not feel your rain." Sarah Bareilles blast through my speakers.

I don't know why I continue to torture myself.

Sad music makes me feel better.

At least that's what I'm telling myself.

"Seeeet me free, Leaaaave me be. I don't wanna fall another moment into your gravity. Here I am, and I stand soooooo tall."

It's been a whole month now.

A whole month without Ashley and I think I'm effectively driving myself insane.

I can't eat.

I can't sleep.

"Just the way I'm supposed to be. But you're on to me and all over meeee."

I just need to feel her here.

To touch her.

"You hold me without touch, you keep me without chains. I never wanted anything so muuuch, then to drown in your love and not feel your rain."

I swear this song is giving me everything right now.

"I love you." Ashley whispers in my ear.

I look at her, her words catching me off guard.

We're laying on the bed at her house watching TV.

My head resting comfortably in the crook of her neck.

"Really?" I ask.

I knew she meant it though.

She wouldn't have said it if she didn't.

"Yeah. Really." She said smiling down at me.

I laid my head back down without saying anything.

"You love me too right Spence?" She questioned, sitting up a little on the bed.

I loved her.

Of course I did.

How could I not.

I just wanted her to squirm a little.

"Spence?"

I smiled before replying.

"Of course I love you baby." I said pushing her back down and laying my head down on her chest.

"Then why'd you-" I put my finger on her lips shushing her.

"I love the sound of your heartbeat." I say randomly.

"Spencer, you're being weird."

The truth was...

I didn't wanna fall for her.

I didn't wanna love her.

Cause at any moment I could lose her.

Her dad could get re-stationed and she'd have to go to.

I knew all this.

But yet, I couldn't help how she made me feel.

I couldn't help that every time I saw her I wanted to kiss her.

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