Chapter 19

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"I Thought About Callin You (Callin You). But I Changed My Mind. The Moment I Thought About What You Do To Me, Every time. I'm Trying To Come Home And See Ya You actin' like you can't make no time for me. So I'm Puttin Down This Receiver. Cause If You Don't Know By Now Just How Much I Need Ya. Then You Never Know How I Feel. This Is Only Gonna Change If You Let It. And It's Real. So If You Don't Do What I Ask Of You. Oh Whoa Oh Boy I'm Still Missing You So Bad It's Pathetic. I'm For Real. See I Need More Than Your Guarantees. Boy You're Losing Me ." Brandy blares from my speakers.

This is the second straight day that I haven't spoken to Ashley.

I know... I feel it too.

It's just, I'm so mad at her that I don't know what to do. I wanna be over all this, I wanna just move on and pretend like none of this ever happened.

But it did.

So I can't.

Knowing that Emily slept in the same bed as Ashley, my Ashley it makes me so mad.

"You Used To Be So Attentive. Call Me At Least Twice A Day. But Now I Have No Support, No Incentive. To Keep Me Loving You This Way. I Sit Alone, Wait In Patience. For You Return To Me, And I Can't Believe Just As Long As You Take It. If You Don't Know By Now What Mistake You're Making." I sing along with the second verse.

How true is this shit right here...

"Spencer get up and get ready for school." My mom peeks her head in my room and tells me. I don't dare protest. I just get up from bed and start getting ready. After getting ready I head downstairs to the kitchen.

"I'm guessing you didn't call Ashley like you said you would last night." My mom says, putting some orange juice and a bagel in front of me. I shake my head as I take a bite from my bagel. "Spencer you really should call her. You didn't hear the desperation in her yesterday when I talked to her." My mom says and I sigh.

"I have nothing to say to her." I tell my mom taking another bite of my bagel.

"So you two have broken up then?" She asks I shrug, but don't say anything. "I'm guessing that's a no. Look Spencer," She says in her motherly voice, walking around the counter and taking a seat on the stool next to me. "I know that you're upset right now and things may seem a bit confusing, but you love Ashley, I know it, you know it. So save yourself all this misery and just call her." She gives me a small smile before kissing me on my forehead and heading out of the kitchen.


Why do mothers always have to be right?

After finishing my bagel an OJ I grab my bag and head to school.

"You look like shit." I tell Madison and she comes into class and takes a seat next to me.

"Oh good." She gives me a fake smile. "I look better than I feel." She adds as she takes her notebook and pencil from her bag.

"That makes one of us."

"You still haven't called her Spencer?" Madison asks in a surprised tone.

"Nope." I shake my head as Jade comes into class. I nod my head in the direction of the door to let Madison know. Jade keeps her head down and eyes anywhere that's not in the direction of Madison and takes a seat in the front of the class.

"How long can she ignore me?" Madison turns and asks me.

"I don't..." I start then trail off, Madison gets up from her desk and walks to the front of the class.

"You can't ignore me forever Jade." She tells her as the teacher walks in. "I'm not gonna stop trying until you talk to me." She tells Jade who is clearly trying her hardest to ignore her.

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