Love Wholeheartedly | JB| a.u | BWWM

Nineteen.

I don't know how long I'd been in the bathroom crying but I'd fallen asleep. My body felt numb on the side I'd been sleeping on because of the hard cold floor, but whatever.

I got up and washed my face to try tone down the puffiness of my eyes then I let my hair down and stared at myself in the mirror.

I'd worked so hard to forget... so hard to forgive. And just when I was in a true happy place, my past came back to haunt me.

Slowly, I unlocked the door.

Justin was asleep on the floor with his back to the wall. He'd been knocking and begging me to come out of the bathroom for a while. He got worn down too.

I turned on the lights and went to the closet to change into something comfortable.

"Dileah?" I heard Justin say.

I frowned.

I didn't want to be around him. Not after finding that cursed folder. He'd been contacting my stepdad; talking to the man who stripped me of a normal childhood, the man who made me believe that love consisted of beatings and harassment.

I picked out a suitcase and dragged it to the bedroom and I placed it on the bed.

My phone vibrated and I rejected the call from Aisha. I also had countless missed calls and texts and I had no doubt that Justin did too.

"Dileah..." Justin looked at me.

I ignored him and went to pick out as many clothes as I could.

"Sweetheart..."

"Don't 'sweetheart' me, Justin Bieber!" I held my hand up to his face to silence him. "Don't."

"I can explain."

I shook my head and made another trip to the closet.

"Dileah, please."

I threw my clothes into a pile next to my suitcase then I looked up at the ceiling for a moment.

"Tell me, Justin." I looked him dead in the eyes. "What got into you? What idiocy possessed you to even think of digging up a piece of my past-- this piece of my past?"

"I know it looks bad... I just wanted to help."

"And you thought it would be a brilliant idea to go looking for someone I hadn't seen in years? Someone I'd worked so hard to forget? Did you expect me to jump for joy and run into your arms? To kiss you? Give you a 'fiancé of the year' trophy?"

"If I knew that you'd react this way..."

I closed my eyes for a moment as tears threatened to fall. All the memories of my childhood: the cold and scary nights, my mom's death... running away...

"You can't fix everything, Justin!" I said. "Is this why you asked me if I wanted to go to Detroit with you? Is my stepdad your so-called project? Is this why you've been so busy working late?"

Justin licked his lips.

"I thought you said you wanted to face your demons. You said you wanted to forgive those who hurt you so when the opportunity came along--"

"And who are you to decide what demons I'm to face? I closed my chapter with Randy and that was enough. Confessing that prison visit to you didn't mean I was giving you the green light to hunt people down! Who's next on your 'project' list? The people who bullied me in school?"

"Dileah..." he tried to touch me but I stepped back.

"No, Justin. You dug up a part of me that I worked so hard to forget. My stepdad is the reason I'm motherless right now! He's one of the reasons I took so long to even let you see me naked! How could you? Did you even think about this thoroughly before you did it?"