What Really Happened

Chapter 12

What really happened?

'I can't remember the past four years of my life so how do I even begin? I have forgotten some of the most important things, I don't remember a single class at my own high school, and now I have to graduate. I live with people who are trying to tell me who I am, but until I remember, I won't ever be able to understand, what really happened.

'I can't remember my teenage years. I literally get to choose what I know about myself, because the only way I can find that out, is if I get told. It is good. I get to forget all those things that have scarred all of your brains, and I never have to think of them again. It is bad. I have no recall of all those fun times you never want to forget. I find it extremely weird though, that technically, I am fourteen. I think like a fourteen year old, I have memories of a fourteen year old, I probably act like a fourteen year old, the only thing that makes me not fourteen is my birth certificate and the fact that I have a driver's license, however I have no recall of learning to drive and I am inside the body of an eighteen year old. But how about the fact that I have cancer? I have a bald head and have to start radiation therapy, I could die. I never thought about it before, I don't want to ever think about it again, but right now I am thinking about it, I could die because of little cells that are killing me. It might be soon, I could go in for my next check up and they tell me I have three weeks left, or I might live until Christmas. Right now i am just hoping to get to my next birthday. These cells robbed me of my memory, maybe they will give it back one day, but for now, I can't remember.

'I can't remember the bad things that have happened. I live in a world where there are photos, videos and even diary entries that can show me memories in a way no one can explain, sitting in the box beside my bed. But I am too scared to open it because I know that it will reveal something I don't want to be revealed, I know that there is something that is being hidden from me, and as soon as I open that box, I am going to find out what it is, so I haven't opened it. The life my friends have been telling me, seems too perfect, I have amazing friends and family who only do amazing things and live the amazing life. I know that they aren't going to go out of their way to tell me the bad things that have happened but it means that I can pick and choose what I want to know, they are all the things that I don't want to know, that's why I'm not going to open the box. Either as soon as I find out, I am going to regret or be all torn up with my friends for not telling me, I would rather stay safe and just leave it all safely hidden away. Sometimes I think to myself that someone has come and locked my memories up in a box, one day they will give me the key back and I will remember everything I had forgotten for so long, or maybe they threw it away.

'I can't remember my birthdays, Christmas', my favorite bands or movies. I can't remember the last time I saw my parents before they went in this overseas holiday, what my little brother now looks like in his teenage years. I can't remember any family holidays or road trips with my friends I can't remember anything from the past four years and worst of all, I may never be able to remember again. These were the best memories of my life, hidden in there with them will be the worst, but until I open the box, or until I do remember, I don't know what really happened.'

Ms Jeffrey's read my essay out loud, 'this is different, but I like it, I think that your English is back where it should be, and you shouldn't have any problems with passing your English finals at the end of summer school.' I smiled at her, although I was slightly annoyed I had to go to school for an extra three months and my friends are finishing finals and graduating this weekend. Just then Noah came running downstairs, 'you ready to go Sasha? Oh, I wasn't expecting you to be here today Ms Jefferys.' She stood up, 'I thought I would just pop in and pick up Sasha's essay to get it moderated, I really should be going anyway, see you guys later,' She smiled and walked out the door. Noah bounded over to me, taking me hand, 'are you ready to go?' I looked at him confused, 'ready to go where?' He have me a funny look, 'your radiotherapy appointment!' It took a while, but finally clicked in my head, last night I got so nervous about it, I just told myself to completely forget about it, I thought of something else and I actually completely forgot about the appointment today, 'oh' I said loudly, standing up and grabbing my sunglasses and followed him out the door.