Unshed Tears ~ SasuNaru

Chapter 16 ~ Fear To Overcome

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards"

-Soren Kierkegaard

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A/N: Please read this chapter with the music in the media!

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Naruto POV

Night after night. I spent them all in the hospital with Sasuke. I knew, that I was becoming obsessed with him. I knew that I had promised myself that I would go back to school as soon as Sasuke woke up, but I can't. A small part of me doesn't want to leave this place. A small part of me alerts me that danger lurks outside this place. The paranoid part of me tells me to stay here, to be in safety. I know that I'm afraid that once I walk away, he will leave me again. I'm afraid of being alone, afraid of being left alone with that agonizing pain a second time. I'm afraid to cause myself pain, to cause everyone that pain a second time. I don't want to be the one making others lose their reasons to live anymore. Maybe it's selfish to think that way, to be afraid of making yourself empty. That emptiness is something no one should feel, nobody should even have an idea of what it means to feel 'empty', no one should know it feels to lose a precious one. Even so, why is that pain so common?

"Sasuke, when will you be released from here? Like, considering the time of the year and with school and all. There not much time left of this year in school"

"That's like the seventh time just this week you've asked that. I've already told you, I'm not going to make it out of here until January"

I knew it, I was obsessed. I wanted to leave this place, but not without him. The fear of losing him a second time was too strong. I didn't care about school at all, actually. If it was something that I cared about that involved school, then it was Sasuke's grades. I merely used school as an excuse.

Today, it had been a week since he woke up from his coma. I had been arguing with several doctors and nurses ever since about that Sasuke was fine and that he was ready to go home. Due to that, I had unconsciously been starting several fights with Sasuke about the same thing. He knew very well that he was not well yet, and deep down I also knew that it was only my mind that didn't want to be here anymore. It was just wishful thinking, that he would get well the second he woke up. And everytime we fought about it, reality would always slap me right in the face. I broke down after every time we argued.

"But think about you grades, Sasuke! We only have four months left of school before Spring Break, and you haven't gone to school since the beggining of October. Your grades has already dropped drastically"

"If my grades bothers you so much then maybe you should start thinking of your own."

I went speechless after that. Once again he had won an argument about this stupid thing. I sat down in the chair next to the window, and stayed silent. I knew very well that he was right, I just didn't want to know it. But, I couldn't trick myself anymore. Right now, my mind wouldn't let itself be tricked anymore. My heart wouldn't let itself be tricked anymore. I had to accept facts. But I just couldn't. I didn't want to.

I looked down at the ground. I felt like a child that had been scolded by his parents for doing something. But, it was only because I knew that I had been doing something wrong. It was wrong of me to tell myself that Sasuke was going to be fine so quickly when I knew that it wasn't like that. I had grown selfish over this time. I was only thinking of myself and that I didn't want to go through this again. I only thought about that unbearable pain we all felt, and I didn't want to feel it again.