Officially Blake's

CHAPTER 25

That video.

"Explain this!" He shouted which made me step back. 

It was Andrew and me, in the elevator.

That morning.

That scene.

That speech.

That kiss.

My hands were trembling and so was my body. My mind went blank for a second and I don’t think I was able to say anything. To defend myself. To explain. Really? After a great time with Blake and his family, this was going to happen. I know I haven’t yet came clean to him. But I swear, I swear to the love of Yoda, I was going to tell him. I just don’t know how or when. But I was.

"This was almost two weeks ago. You didn't tell me this. And you weren't planning to, were you?"

"Blake...it..it was..."

"You liked it didn't you?! You liked it. You liked it. You still like him! You still like Andrew! You freaking lied! You don't love me. You're just using me… You liked it right?!”

A frustrated tear welled up as Blake punched his car window. Blood was pouring through his hands. He continued punching his car and kicking the tires. I tried to stop him. I tried to make him listen to me. But he didn't see anything but himself.

His anger.

He was wrong.

I don't like Andrew anymore.

I love Blake. Now if he just would let me explain, we can sort things out.

I took hold of his bloody hands and he hissed of pain. I stepped back and looked down. "You used me Nicolle. I loved you and you used me. You are the monster. I can't believe you! Why are you such a bitch?!"

That time in the parking lot in Café Madness went flashing back in my mind. When he called me a bitch, a slut. When he told me hurtful words. I cried. I cried in front of him, unable to speak. Why do we always have to experience this? Once is already enough. Why again?

He gripped my wrist tightly and I didn't really mind if he was wounding me. I wounded him deeper. "Get away from me," he shouted fervently.

All I wanted to do is to wipe those tears away from his face, clean that mess in his hands, tell him that I don’t like Andrew anymore, and tell him that I love him. But I couldn’t do it. It seemed so impossible to do that now; now that he wouldn’t care about my explanations.

He saw it. He saw it with his own two eyes. And I don’t think he would believe me.

After what I did to him, he wouldn’t believe me again.

I eradicated everything.

I broke my heart. I broke his heart.

I broke him.

And I hate myself more than anything.

“Blake,” I whispered, now crying. It’s so weird that one second, a person was bursting out laughing and the next, he was crying to death. Begging. And right now, I was that person. “Blake, listen to me.”

He didn’t look at me. I walked closer to him. It was silent. And I was thankful that he pulled over here. No car. No buildings. Just road. Just the trees. The grasses. The birds. The sky. The sun. Just Blake and I. Just the two of us. Just the ire and the guilt.

I took hold of his cheeks. His jaw was so tight that I felt I was touching a wall. “Blake—“

When suddenly, he pulled me to him and hugged me so tightly. But it didn’t feel good. I should like this right? I should love this. That he was hugging me. That I was so close to him. That he was holding me.