Ta Ta for Now! (Stories about Melissa Book #1)

Entry Seventeen

Entry Seventeen

Whatever:

I don't feel like I will ever care about anything again. I have been lying in this bed for forty-eight hours. It is now eleven pm on Monday night, and I do not feel like ever getting up. I did not go to school today. My parents came in and tried to get me up this morning, but really what could they do? Force me up, give me a shower, and walk me in to school? I think Mom understood, but Dad just looked like he wanted to hit something. I think I am starting to smell myself, or it could be my sheets... I don't really care.

I have been in and out of sleep all day. When I am awake, I replay what happened that night over and over in my head, and I can't help but wonder, what happened the rest of the night? Did Brian go to the party and keep drinking? Did Layla act on what she had said and hook up with Brian? Did he really go for her? Did he think about me at all... How he had hurt me? How he had ruined everything that we had because he wanted to get drunk and laid? We are fourteen, why is he trying to move so fast? Wasn't he enjoying getting to know me? Enjoying being young and getting to fall in love? Should I have just gone with it?

This is what I have been thinking about all day.

Mom came home during lunch and tried to talk to me. I handed her the journal and rolled over. She sat down and read what I had written.

She said some bad words, rubbed my back for a minute, and kissed my head. "I'm so sorry, baby," she whispered. "And I am so proud of you!" Then she walked out and went back to work.

Later, it must have been evening because it sounded like everyone was home. I could hear Mom and Dad arguing. She must have told him what I wrote in the journal. He sounded really pissed. She kept telling him something like, "No, Craig, you cannot go over there."

Megan and Mikey came in for a minute, but I said, "Not now, guys."

Mikey said, "You'll be okay, Missy. You are better than this guy!"

Megan said, "Yeah, Mis, don't let him do this to you!"

Then they left.

It must have been about eight when Monica came in because she smelled all fresh and clean from a bath and had her pajamas on. She climbed up on the bed, laid down next to me, and put her little arm around me. It was very sweet, and I patted her hand to let her know I felt her there.

She said, "I love you. I hope you feel better soon." Mom came in and took Monica off to bed, and I laid there and cried.

I just feel so tired. 

Ta Ta for Now!