Shelter In Your Love (Beatles Fan Fiction)

38. Tears of the World

'Yes, I know what I said,' I reply, sharply.

I was leaving him. I did leave him. In my mind, I had left him. Yet I'm still here, aren't I?

'Have you changed your mind? Had a rethink?'

I shake my head.

'Hannah, have you considered... that Ricky might have left you?' Minnie asks, cautiously and rubs my arm.

'What?'

'Where is he?'

'He's...'

'I know he's not here. I know he's not been here for... how long? Days? Weeks?'

'Not weeks. Six days. That's all,' I say, defensively, but I don't know why. She's right. He might have left. He's disappeared. No one's seen him, no one's heard from him. That's what they're telling me anyway.

'I know you've been calling round, looking for him.'

'I... haven't... I...'

'You don't need to be embarrassed about it. Han, maybe... Maybe it's for the best? Come to London with me, instead. Sod Ricky. Sod Maurice and The Raindrops. Sod all bloody New York. We'll start again. The two of us.'

'When are you going?'

She smiles, hopeful. 'Saturday.'

'Saturday?! That's... You were just going to go? Without telling me?'

'I'm telling you now, nitwit.'

I shake my head. 'You don't want me along.'

'Han, I do...'

'No, you don't, Minnie. Plainly. You've organised it all behind my back.'

'That's not true.'

I shrug. 'Perhaps you're right. It's the time for it. We are... older now. We don't need to rely on each other as much. You don't need to look after me anymore. You can have your life back. It's not like before, is it, when we were running from...'

Minnie takes my hand and pulls me into her, so unexpectedly and so roughly that I nearly spill the tea I'm still holding down her back. She wraps her arms around my neck. 'Han,' she says in my ear, 'I will always look after you. And I will always need you to look after me as well. You and me... It's still just you and me, okay? No matter what. You could... murder someone or anything, and I'd still stand by you.' She draws back from me, keeping her arms around me. 'Come with me?'

I extract myself from her. 'Saturday is only two days away. I don't have a plane ticket or anywhere to stay...'

'Stay with me and Vince.'

It's me and Vince now.

'I couldn't.'

She purses her lips. 'Well, actually, I don't know if you'd like it anyway. Vince is living with... some other people at the moment. It's like a commune.'

'A commune?'

'Well, okay, it's a squat. This huge house that apparently no one owns...'

'That no one... Minnie, come on. You can't go to a different country and live in a... a...'

'It's not for long. You could come over later then, in a few weeks or so. That'll mean I have to find somewhere better to live, for the both of us, won't it? Say you will, Han. Please? Say you'll at least think about it?'

'Alright. I'll think about it,' I say with a small smile.

I already know that I want to go with her. Of course I do. But I don't want to go if she doesn't want me to. Her kid sister, cramping her style, holding her back, just like I always have.